Preparing For Baby’s Arrival 2

I usually get myself all prepared by Week 38.

So if there are any last minutes things to be done, I would have about 2 weeks more to get them ready. But please note that this is due to the fact that I have birthed 5 babies and know that generally, my babies usually do not come early. If your babies usually make their appearance at or around Week 38, then you may want to get everything ready by Week 36.

Packing for the hospital Generally if you had a vaginal birth, you would stay at most 2 nites and 3 days. If you had a c-section delivery, you would stay at most 4 nights and 5 days. But this is not carved in stone. You can always request for an early discharge if there are no complications and your doctor is agreeable to it. And don’t worry about packing too little, your husband or any other family or friend can always bring what you forgot to bring!

Do call ahead and ask the hospital what they provide and at what cost. Different hospitals and different room combinations provide different things.

I would suggest getting your bag ready towards the end of the 37th week unless you have had some early signs that your baby is wanting to come out earlier! Or if you are just plain excited!

For mom

Pyjamas - I recommend wearing long pants for the nites. Not only can the air conditioning get cold in the night, it is also more modest! You don’t want to worry that your nightgown has ridden up when you are woken up in the nite to nurse the baby! Also there is a tendency to leak through your pads, even maternity ones, during the 1st 2 nights so dark colored pants will help to conceal any stains.

Other clothes – Do bring decent clothes to change into. And especialy if this is your 1st baby, there will be lots of visitors! You don’t want to look sloppy as you greet family and friends!

I also do not like the look of the hospital gowns provided by some hospitals. Makes you look like an invalid! Childbirth is a joyous occasion, worthy of celebration. Why would anyone want to look like a invalid?! I want to look happy and radiant!

I suggest bringing nursing tops with either skirts or pants. This allows you to :

• a) practice nursing with it and
• b) be able to meet visitors modestly even if you have to feed the baby. It is rather rude to have your visitor waiting for an uncertain amount of time while you nurse the baby. No need to hide behind the curtains – well unless you are trying to avoid that particular visitor! Lol!

Please remember that even though you have birthed the baby, you will not lose all your pregnancy weight immediately! So please do not bring your pre-pregnancy clothes and hope to fit into them! I know there are some women who can but honestly, these are far and few n between! Your maternity pants/skirts would serve you well in this instance.

Undergarments – You may want to consider buying disposable panties since there will be lots of leaking. Then you won’t have to bother about washing them.

Maternity Pads – Do bring your own set of maternity or night pads. You will have to pay extra if the set provided by the hospital runs out! I much prefer buying my own anyway.

For me, I needed the night pads for at least the 1st week when lochia is heaviest. Then I proceed to normal pads. I have used cloth sanitary pads with much relief. Due to chaffing, I cannot use disposable pads for longer than 1 week. So I only use them when going out only. At home, I use my own home-sewn* cloth pads.

Nursing bras & pads – 2 to 3 nursing bras would be enough. As for breast pads, mature milk usually does not come in till Day 3 and so I usually do not need any nursing pads to catch the let downs while in hospital. But, to be safe, you may want to bring 2 pairs to stand by.

During the early days when the letdowns are heavy due to the body adjusting to the amount required by the growing baby, I prefer to use disposable breast pads. I have personally found the Pigeon brand most comfortable and absorbent. I dislike Mothercare and TollyJoy. Very “pokey” and itchy!

Usually by the end of the 1st week, I would switch to cloth breast pads. Cheaper and much more comfortable in this hot and humid weather of ours! Just make sure it is washed properly and sun dried.

For commercial breast pads, I have tried a few brands and so far I like Avent best. But you will have to test and try out a few to decide what suits you best. I have also sewn* a few of my own that have worked very well for me.

* Details on how to sew your own pads and breast pads will be put up soon. If you need it urgently, please email me at buildingupmoms@gmail.com

Toiletries – This is personal. If you have sensitive skin and can only use a particular brand of soap/shampoo, then you will have to bring them along. If you wish to put on light makeup then you would have to bring them along too. So think ahead and plan and write it down! You may have to bring your own body and face towel.

You may also wish to bring along a pair of Slippers. Whether you are in a single room or a 4-bedder room, the toilet floor is going to be wet. You don’t want to be traipsing in and out in your bare feet – eeks!

Another Thing…

I benefitted much from drinking lots of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (RRL) in the last trimester of my 4th pregnancy. I bled a lot less in terms of number of days (just over a week) and quantity as well.

When I “cheated” and drank less for #5, I bled a lot more and for a longer period too. So this time round, I am back drinking more RRL tea and will be bringing with me my stash to drink after birth as well.

It works by toning the uterus (some ladies find that it shortens labour but it didn’t do that for me!) and by helping to reduce post partum bleeding.

I bought mine from Moms In Mind. You can buy it at any organic store. I have seen them sold at Plant & Planet and at Brown Rice Paradise. I believe you can even get them in capsule form inplaces like GNC or Nature’s Farm if you dislike its taste.

For baby

Going Home Outfit - Some hospitals provide a going home outfit while others don’t. Call and ask ahead of delivery. Baby just needs 1 going home outfit. Most hospitals will provide a basic infant top during baby’s stay in the hospital.

Mittens & Booties – If you want baby to wear mittens and booties, then you have to pack 1 pair each.

Blanket – The hospitals that I delivered at provided a going home blanket. But if you want baby to be swaddle in his special blanket, then you will have to bring your own.

Diapers – The hospital package will provide 1 pack of newborn diapers for baby’s stay in hospital. It usually is more than enough. But if you are cloth diapering and want to do it from the start, you will have to bring your own stash of diapers.

I hope this is informative enough. As mentioned, there are loads of stuff out on the internet and baby books. So go and read up and do your own research.

And remember – enjoy your baby!

Preparing For Baby’s Arrival 1

As we prepare to welcome baby #6 into the family, I thought I might as well write a piece on what to get ready before baby’s arrival for any new moms out there!

Before I go into the nitty gritties of what to get for baby’s arrival, I want to stress again that you need to read up and be prepared for labour and delivery. Read and be informed. Then pray and be discerning.

Even as you wait for your baby’s arrival, don’t be pressured by the doctor to do anything you are not comfortable with. Eg. Induction, a c-section, etc…Seek a 2nd, 3rd or even 4th opinion if you need to. And please do not be held back by the maternity package you have signed up with at the clinic or doctor! It can always be terminated and you can be charged pro-rata.

Read and know the signs of labour to watch out for. Don’t go in too early. Pray and ask God for wisdom in knowing the correct timing for you to go in.

Baby Furniture Cot – do you need it? Are you going to co-sleep? I prefer not to co-sleep so we have always used a cot from Baby #1.

Baby goes straight to the cot the day he comes home from the hospital. So I get the other paraphernalia such as the bumper pad and blanket ready as well. We also got a cot that can convert to a toddler bed to save the hassle of looking for another bed when the baby is older and physically bigger.

When we had less children, the cot was placed in a separate area (with a baby monitor) but now that we have space constraints, baby’s cot is in our bedroom. Decide on where you want to place baby in view that you probably will be up several times a night to nurse the baby. You wouldn’t want to put baby too far away!

Changing Table I find this indispensable as I do not have to bend awkwardly to change the baby. It is at an ideal height for me. We bought ours rather cheaply from IKEA more than 9 years ago and it is still serving us well, 5 children later. However, they no longer have it in production!

Pram The kind you get depends on your budget and the size of your car boot! Lol! Our car boot is extremely narrow and small so we had to get a slimly built pram. And if you don’t have a car, then you will want a light weight pram.

Sling Besides the pram, I found the baby sling extremely helpful. I bought mine from Moms In Mind. They are also being sold at selected department stores. There are also many other types of slings and carriers such as the Maya Sling and the much-raved about Ergo Carrier. Check out Love Slings and Mummy’s Milk for details. A sling is very helpful when a pram is not convenient or when baby is plain fussy and needs to be carried. A sling also allows you to nurse in public easily.

My sling also doubles up as a blanket when baby lies in the pram! So glad I discovered it when I had #2. It also makes my life easier when I have to carry a baby and hold on to another toddler/s’ hand!

Car Seat If you own a car, you should get a car seat for the baby. Again, there are many models and variations to choose from. There are those that can grow with the child from infant to toddler and those that are strictly for infants.

A baby needs to get used to sitting in the car seat whenever you travel in the car. It is much safer for him. (It is also illegal to not put a baby in one when you have space in the car for a car seat!) Yes, he probably will yell his head off the 1st few times (months even for one of our children!) but persist and he’ll soon know that when he’s strapped in the car seat, he’s in there till the car ride is over.

Bouncer I have baby bouncer/recliner that I put baby in to lie and just watch the world go by I move it around the house so that baby does not get bored/hot/cold being at the same place, looking at the same things. Sometimes I let the baby fall asleep in it too. This provides an alternative for the baby instead of just lying in his cot or being carried.

Other times I just place a well padded blanket on the floor and let the baby lie there. This allows the baby to practice flipping himself over later on.

Baby Clothes How many pieces you need depends on how often you plan to do your laundry. Baby clothes are so tiny so they dry pretty fast. Even as you plan for x number of outfits, give and take another 3 – 4 sets for accidents that happen with little babies – spit ups, baby poo leaking out of diapers – that happens all the time

But I would recommend not buying too many infant sized outfits. They really outgrow them very fast. I tend to have on hand just 4 – 5 pcs of clothes in sizes 0 – 3mths. And the rest in 3 – 6mths. I don’t buy size 00.

For pyjamas, I like putting them in short-sleeved, footed sleep suits. We do not sleep in air conditioned rooms so this arrangement suits us fine. You will have to adjust baby’s clothing according to the temperature in the baby’s room. Most newborns like to be warm rather than cold.

We don’t do mittens and booties to the horror of many! I really see no point. Yes, they may scratch their faces with their nails but it is ok. They heal very fast too! As for booties, since we swaddle the baby, I don’t see the need to put booties on either! Plus it really irritates me when either the bootie or the mitten keeps falling off! And we do live in hot and humid Singapore! But this is your call!

For those who wonder we don’t wash our baby’s clothes separately or use baby detergent. Yes, yes – again a gasp of horror from many new moms. Just use less detergent and if you are really worried about detergent residue on the clothes, do a double rinse. Everyone’s clothes gets washed together and sun dried.

I usually only wash baby’s clothes sometime around the 36th week of the pregnancy. Wash any earlier and you’ll probably have to wash again since dust will settle on the clothes! After washing and drying completely, I would put them into ziplock bags and squeeze all the air out of them. Nowadays, there are those vacuum bags that you can purchase from Daiso for just $2each! I would place the clothes inside and vacuum the air out. It seals it better than me squeezing the air out manually. Clothes are then placed under the changing table till it is time to bring them out.

Diapers Do get newborn-sized diapers to last you at least the 1st 3 – 4 weeks. Then you can proceed to size S. Well unless your baby is bigger than the average baby! Loose diapers lead to leakages and that’s a big mess when they poo! Depending on how efficient your baby is in passing pee and poo, you may need to be prepared to change diapers anywhere from 5 to 12 times a day and night! So be prepared!

Whether you get disposables or cloth diapers is personal. I have cloth diapered 4 out of our 5 children. I like it but personally, cloth diapers stop working for us when the children start eating solids. Somehow, that changes the acidity of their pee and poo and leads to diaper rashes. So I usually switch to disposables by then.

Today’s cloth diapers are not only prettier, but a lot more convenient to use than the plain muslin cloth we used to use. Diaper covers are also more durable. Check out local online store WhoopeeKiddies for an idea of the types available now.

As for wipes, I do not like to use commercial unless we are out. And I avoid those that have fragrance on them like the plague! My babies often returned from the hospital with diaper rash because of the “complimentary” wipes in the baby bag. So once home, I use plain water and cotton wool to wipe and clean. Then I dry off with specially put aside face towels.

Not only is this kinder to baby’s bottoms, it is also more economical! I buy cotton wool by the rolls from Chinese Medical Halls for anywhere between $3.00 to $5.00, depending on the brand they have available. And each roll lasts me a long time. I tear them up into square pieces put them all into a plastic tub and pull them out as and when necessary.

I also stand by a few tubes of diaper cream (we use Dapolene) to smear on babies bottoms as and when necessary.

Toys It is so tempting to rush out and buy all the colorful and interesting toys you see in the shops! But for the longest time, a baby doesn’t really need many toys. A baby mobile is helpful in occupying the baby when he is lying in his cot. Only when baby is older and able to grasp toys that he needs more toys.

You may however wish to buy a simple CD player in the baby’s room to play praise and worship music.

Milk Bottles/Breast Pump Since baby #2, I have not had milk bottles at home! But I did have to make dh go out and buy me a breast pump after #2 coz I had a very bad case of mastitis and the baby refused to nurse to clear it!

You may wish to stand by a few bottles and a basic breast pump in case of emergencies. For this I really like Avent Isis Manual pump. It is affordable (especially when there is a sale on), easy to assemble and gentle on mom when pumping. I hated the Mini Medela. The motor was so noisy! And it hurt while pumping even though one could adjust the suction power! And to aggravate me further, the motor died on me just after 8 months of use!

Just a word of caution – never pump in the early days just to check how much milk you are producing! It is highly deceptive! Baby is the best pump ever! So don’t be surprised if you can only manage 30ml or less when you pump in the early days.

Formula Milk If you really want to succeed in breastfeeding, you may wish to not have any formula milk at home! It is radical but hey! without that temptation in your house, you will be more inclined to press on!

Natural vs Managed Birth

Just this week, I had two friends birthing, with two very different experiences and outcomes. After my first birth I became a strong proponent FOR natural, unmanaged, unmedicated births. In other words, birthing the way God made our bodies to birth.

And after listening to the two birth stories, I am convinced that the way we birth in modern society not only does much harm to our bodies but also colours our entire birthing experience.

We believe that we have been fully redeemed by our Lord Jesus Christ and therefore, we are no longer under the curse of the pain of childbirth. Yes, labour is hard work and so we must nourish our bodies and prepare for it by being good stewards of our bodies. And yes, sometimes a natural birth is not possible. But that is not the norm.

The friend who believed and prayed for a supernatural childbirth experienced it herself. She was so high after her birth that she couldn’t sleep till the next day! But the one who went in expecting pain and misery got what she expected. She was so tired out after the birth she couldn’t even hold the baby to nurse! And of course she swore never ever to have any more children.

Why the different outcomes? Simply put, one put her trust in God and birthed the way He intended for women to birth while the other didn’t.

Besides praying and standing on the promises of God, what else can be done to ensure a natural birth? Now, I am no doula, nor am I a trained midwife. But there are basic things that can be done that will have you avoid a managed and medicated birth that results in the mum feeling worn out.

Firstly, pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and wisdom. What works for one may not work for you. Our God is interested in our relationship with Him, not in operating as a formula! You need to be close to God to hear what He is saying to you about your pregnancy and labour.

Next, equip yourself with knowledge. Don’t just accept what you are told. As a popular saying goes, “There are many ways to skin a cat.” Read your standard books and then read your alternative option books. Educate yourself.

Then comes the practical part that I consider most important when labour starts – never, never go to the hospital early. The more you desire a natural birth, the later you should go in! Please note that if you have a medical condition and need to be in the hospital early for monitoring, then go! Don’t be stubborn about it. I am talking about the majority of us who have smooth and uncomplicated pregnancies.

Why is not going in early important? The earlier you go in, the more you will be subjected to unnecessary tests and procedures AND you may be subjected to a timing set in place by the doctor. (Eg. “You need to be dilated __cm by such a time or we’ll have to induce you).”)

Some of these unnecessary tests and procedures include the breaking of the waterbag and numerous, very uncomfortable vaginal examinations to check your cervix dilation. All these are very stressful events for your labouring body and many times your labour can stall because of it. Trust me, labouring at home is by far the most comfortable!

That’s what happened to my two friends. One went in and birthed in 15minutes. This was her 2nd birth. The other went in the moment her waterbag burst at 5am and didn’t birth the baby till 12hrs later at 5pm! It was her 3rd birth.

You do not need to panic and call the doctor the moment contractions start or when you have a show or when your waterbag bursts. Contractions need to be regular and progressive before you rush off to the hospital. You do have some leeway after your waterbag bursts.

Shows can happen for days or even weeks before labour starts. But if you are near your EDD, most doctors will err on the side of caution and ask you to check in to check you. That is why you need to equip yourself with knowledge so that you know what is happening.

You need to pray to know when you should stay put and when you should go. This is especially so for first time mothers.

There are many other things you can do in the practical sense to avoid a managed, medicated birth (choosing a doctor wisely definitely helps!) but like I said, I am not a doula nor a midwife. You can find many of these tips by reading and surfing on the internet. These three points are what I would like to highlight to you to start you off.

Once you have had your natural or better still, supernatural birth, you will enjoy your births and not face it with fear and trepidation.

Birth Story #5

*** For my 6 other birth stories, go to My Birth Stories ***

 

God answered all my prayers with this birth – both the inconsequential and the really important requests!

I have never liked to labour in the hospital, preferring to labour at home instead. So my one desire s to be able to check myself in and birth the baby in just 1hr Which means I would like to go in and find that I am already 8cm dilated, not 5cm or 6cm. Another desire was to be able to put all the children to bed before I go into the hospital. I wanted as little disruption to our routine as possible.

And I didn’t want an episiotomy this time around! My previous dr performs episiotomies as a matter of routine. When I brought up the possibility of not performing one, he gave me lots of scare stories and basically refused my request. I was not happy about this coz I had already been cut 4 times! What if the Lord blesses us with 6 children? 8 children? Would I then be cut 8 times??? So I changed drs.

My current dr is very open to natural births if the patient so chooses. He promised me that he would guard the perenium for me but warned me that I may still tear because I had been cut 4 times already. My skin was no longer as elastic as it should be if I hadn’t had all those episiotomies! A scar tissue is tough, not elastic. So I prayed! No tearing, no episiotomy.

And God was merciful and gracious, granting me all I asked for.

Labour started at 8am, Saturday morning but I didn’t say anything though I was already 3 days past EDD. The contractions were at regular 10min intervals. This time I did not pray for my waterbag to burst as I was again diagnosed as GBS positive AGAIN!

At about 1pm, I seemed to have had a show – slight bleeding when the mucous plug is passed out. But it was not repeated. So I continued packing. You see, we were moving to a new place on Monday and we still hadn’t finished packing.

I couldn’t eat dinner but I tried to eat something coz I knew I needed the energy to push I called my parents to standby and got ready my bag. I put the children to bed and went to my room to rest. I started to feel extremely sleepy! So I lay down & slept!

At 9:15pm, the contractions changed! They were still 5 minutes apart but lasting between 1.5 to 2 minutes long. Hmmm….time to go? I prayed for clarity to know when to go coz I didn’t want to feel rushed at the hospital.

Told myself that if the same type of contractions happened 3 times in a row, I better get to the hospital. And it did. The amazing thing was that in between each of those contractions, I slept! It was a deep sleep! I would then get woken up by the contractions & then fell back asleep. It was as if my body was resting as much as possible before the real “work” came. I had to force myself to get up after the 4th one in a row & call my parents to come up while dh & I changed.

10:00pm – getting out of the house and into the car was a challenge. The car ride to the hospital was not fun! I felt EVERY bump of the road as dh drove speedily there. I was so tempted to tell him to drive slowly except that I couldn’t talk. Lol!

10:15pm – when I reached the hospital, it got very exciting Once the nurses find out that this is birth #5, they start to panic and rush. I had to tell them that I don’t birth quickly! One brought me to the observation suite to do a VE.

I kindly reminded them that I wanted to labour on the floor coz I didn’t think I could climb onto the bed at that point in time. The midwife exclaimed surprise and asked if I was having a doula. I said no. So she asked if I had a birth plan and I said yes.

They scuttled to locate my birthplan but told me that I still needed to go onto the bed for a VE. The VE showed that I was 8cm dilated (yay!) but she said that the baby’s head was still quite high. I was then wheeled to the delivery suite (why did they bother to move me here & there?!)

There was now no time to even change to a hospital gown. They just strapped that horrid CTG machine on me. I protested but the midwife insisted. She said need to monitor for 10 – 15 minutes!

Then I began to feel pain coz I had to lie on my back – which always hurts coz of the weight of the bb on my spine. I was not a happy woman. I kept bugging the midwife in between contractions that I wanted it off. She insisted that she needed 15 min of the graph to be recorded!

Then the dr walked in & asked how I was doing. I told him “uncomfortable!” So he asked what I wanted to do and I told him that I wanted to go onto the floor. So he said ok and the midwife quickly relieved me from the CTG contraption What a relief to be off the bed, off the machine and on the floor!

Meanwhile I was thinking : this is really weird & surreal Everyone staring and waiting for me to “perform”. I was so tempted to tell the dr, “Please go away and let me labour without any pressure.” After all I was “only” 8cm dilated & who knows how long I’ll take to reach 10cm!

But I didn’t get a chance to coz the contractions changed. I was bearing down and instinctively I crouched on the floor. (Oh! He offered me a birth stool to help me labour but it sure hurt when I got on it! So I got off it as soon as possible.)

Then came the transition. It felt really intense but the dr was very encouraging, telling me to take my time and do what I felt like doing. Finally the burning sensation was felt – ah! Now I know that the bb will be out soon!

Before that. even tho the dr, the midwives and even dh was telling me that they can see the bb’s head, I did not believe them. But with that burning sensation I knew it was almost the end of the road. The dr told me to lean forward the next time I wanted to push and again, instinctively, not only did I lean forward, I also went from the crouching to a full fours position & baby’s head came out breaking the waterbag at the same time.

Everyone told me not to push anymore but to pant her out and she slid right out! She had passed meconium in the bag tho coz I could see that the waters was brown but she didn’t inhale any, thank GOD! The bb was then passed from under me to hold & I got onto the bed coz I badly wanted to sit down. It was 11pm. I had managed to birth within the hour that I stepped into the hospital!

I had to remind the dr to wait for the bb’s cord to stop pulsing before letting dh cut it & so I got to hold the bb for a little while longer. She didn’t want to nurse tho – just like my 2 other unmedicated birth bbs. Very strange!

Then the placenta was slowly expelled & oh my! The contraction of the uterus after that was as strong as the contractions prior to birth! There seemed to be a lot more blood coming out of me this time that the dr looked concerned enough to recommend a symtotrine (sp?) jab to which I agreed. He then checked me and I didn’t tear!!!!

It was an awesome birth. And it was the most relaxing birth of all the 5. I got to birth the way God intended our bodies to birth – naturally and not propped up in the bed like a sick patient! I was so high after the birth that I couldn’t sleep!

Dh then went home to lok after the other children and they didn’t even know what had happened

May our five birth stories bless and encourage all you ladies looking to birth naturally and drug free. By God’s grace and guided by His Holy Spirit, by it is indeed very possible!

Birth Story #4

*** For my 6 other birth stories, go to My Birth Stories ***

 

For births #2 and #3, my waterbag had burst before I checked myself into the hospital. So for #4, I had just assumed it would be the same.

Contractions finally started at 1.30am, early Thursday morning. They lasted 1 min & was 10 min apart. Very quickly it progressed to 7 min apart & I had a bloody show. Moved my bowels twice in that short span of time. I got up at 3am to shower & get ready.

Told myself that I would only get admitted when contractions were 5 min apart coupled w/ water bag bursting. But it wasn’t possible, the contractions were a bit too strong for me to hold back anymore & I really did not want to birth at home!

I woke dh up at 6am (moved my bowels once more) & called my parents to come over to watch the older kids. My parents sure took the longest 30 min drive down to my place. I really thot I was going to give birth along the corridor of our apartment! Lol!

When I reached the hospital, the contractions were holding me back from walking normally so the nurses hurried to get me a wheelchair

Once in the delivery suite, I was (as usual) strapped to the CTG. But I was only 5 cm dilated!!!! Argh!!!! Everyone thought I was going to birth anytime soon since it was the 4th birth for me. So I wasn’t even allowed to go to the toilet to relieve myself! I had to do it in the bedpan

From 7:30am to abt 9am, the contractions were moving along from 5 to 3 min & lasting really long. The midwife came in at abt 8am to insert an antibiotic IV drip in me coz I was diagnosed with a positive GBS infection at 38 weeks. I protested coz the dr had agreed that he would give me a jab or an oral dose instead. Unsure of what to do, she called the dr & I overheard her complaining to him that I refused the drip !

The dr arrived at abt 9am & told me that he would give me a jab but then almost immediately changed his mind coz he said I may still need the drip incase of excessive post partum bleeding. Sigh!!! the only “good” thing was that he only left the drip contraption on w/o the actual plastic drip tube, iykwim?

Then he did a VE & said that I can deliver soon. He broke my water bag w/o informing me (grr!!!) & said ok – you can deliver now!?!?!?!!? I was placed “in position” & told to push!

Huh? I was quite irritated. I tried to push a few times with the contractions but instead of the contractions moving closer together coz of AROM, I felt them growing further apart! & on top of that I was getting tired & I could feel the bb sitting on my spine, unable to move down coz of the position I was in.

Dr then left the room (too impatient to wait?!) & left the midwives in-charge. They kept asking me to push & in the end I snapped at them – “I want to get down!” The older midwife was so shocked she said “huh?” but the younger one ran to check with dr coz I was getting down from that position regardless of what anyone says!

I got down and started to push on fours, then on my knees leaning forward, – doing whatever my body was telling me to do. I felt baby pushing down but I just couldn’t get her out!

By then I was getting weary of this whole pushing thing I was soooo desperate that when the dr came back in I told him to just vacuum her out! He told me to get back on the bed & then to push again. Again I repeated – “please vacuum the baby out!” and he said “no lah! you want everything natural, including delivering your placenta out naturally. So how can you ask to vacuum the bb out? You must push her out!” Argh! Not what I wanted to hear! So I bargained with him! but he insisted and told me “you have forgotten your verse ‘I can do ALL things thru Christ Jesus who strengthens me!’ “

I got back up on the bed and praise God! I pushed twice and the baby pops out! BUT with the cord around her neck! So while her head was hanging out, the body had to be “delayed” while he unwinds the cord off her and then she came out! With no cry! She just laid on me while the nurse dried her & then she wailed only when they stuck the plastic tube to suction the stuff out of her mouth!

Meanwhile, I could feel the placenta sliding out of me easily. Woah! After having been pulled & tugged w/o any pain relief with #3, the natural birthing of the placenta this time was a breeze!!!

And then dh gets to trim the cord. His 1st time! And then we found out why the baby took so much more effort than the rest to come out. She was our heaviest by far – 3.5kg and her head circumference was the largest at 36cm!

Immediately my 1st thought was – next time, I will pray for a baby with a head circumference of 34cm!

What did I learn? That thought I wanted the waterbag to burst as a clear indication tro go to the hospital, God knew better. Being GBS positive meant that the baby was in danger of ingesting the infection if the waterbag had burst in advance. Keeping the waterbag intact till the actual birth was His way of protecting the baby from the infection. God is so good! I had no pethedine, no gas mask and I got to deliver my placenta naturally. It was awesome!

But I still felt that something was missing……

Birth Story #3

*** For my 6 other birth stories, go to My Birth Stories ***

 

This time round, I was determined to avoid pethdine in our labour. And I had thought that I could ask for the same sign from God to know when to go to the hospital. But like I said before there is no magic “formula”. We need to hear from God each time.

Yes, my waterbag did break but the cotnractions were only 10min apart and did not progress. Hmm…So should I go or not? To complicate matters, there was meconium in the waters passed.

According to what I have read, it may signal that baby is in distress. And yet there was an incredible peace about waiting it out. So I waited and waited. I walked, I squatted, I went on all-fours but the contractions remained at 7 – 10 min apart.

This time round, my parents had been called to come and mind the children and they were also hanging around, wondering what was happening. I called a friend who said that I hsould go to the hospital “just in case”. Dh and I prayed and discussed and decided that we will go to the hospital to just check the status of the baby.

Surprisingly, everyone at the hospital was very calm even when I told them that my baby had passed meconium. They did the usual exams and put the CTG monitor on to check the baby’s heartbeat.

The dr came in and said that baby is fine and the only “problem” was that I had to stay in bed, hooked up to the CTG coz they wanted to monitor the baby’s condition closely! That was a bummer coz I did not feel comfortable. Lying down on my back always hurts!

I was all ready to argue with the dr that I didn’t want to be induced. But the dr didn’t bring it up at all and then he leaves to perform communion (this was a Sunday morning) at his church!

But from the moment I had checked in (slightly before 10am) till 12 nn, I was still at 4cm dilation! Althought the contractions were strong and consistent, the dilation just wasn’t progressing. So I prayed. Dh prayed.

Suddenly (to me) at 1:45pm I needed to push. The mideife scuttles in to check and she yells “Call the dr!’. Lol! She claimed I was 9cm but I am sure I was a 10! She said that I needed to wait for the dr, so I took the offer of the gas mask to control the urge to push & to calm myself down.

Five pushes later – the baby came whooshing out! Drug free, pain free, Exhilarating!

And the best part of all was when the dr said that he was going to suggest induction so that he could go and perform communion but decided not to! Wow! The hand of God is mighty and protects!

Birth Story #2

*** For my 6 other birth stories, go to My Birth Stories ***

 

I was determined this time round to not go in too early!

But I didn’t know when to go in. Also I didn’t know what a waterbag bursting on its own felt like. Many told me that it’ll be a gush and it would flow non-stop. So armed with this “knowledge”, I waited for D-Day.

At 38weeks, I had very strong contractions. It was progressing at every 7 – 10mins regularly and didn’t change in pattern even when I sat up or lay down. Hmm….labour? I prayed. God didn’t say to go in so I didn’t. The contractions did not become closer. After 2 hrs, the contractions stopped. I was grateful that I didn’t panic and checked myself into the hospital where I most likely would have been induced.

One day before EDD while reading in my bed before sleeping, I felt a strong pressure down at my cervix and with that pressure, there was a small leak of waters. Hmm….waterbag breaking? But it was such a small leak. Again, I prayed, asking for a sure sign.

Then I went to bed. That was about 11pm. At 2+am, there was such a huge contraction and with that, a gush of waters came through. But, no, it didn’t gush non-stop. I immediately woke dh up and went to shower and change. After which I called my parents to come over and help with minding our #1.

By the time I checked into the hospital, it was about 3am. The nurse asked if I wanted a pethedine shot. Not knowing any better, I said ok. After the shot, I promptly fell asleep till the midwife came running in and shouting at me to not push!

I was in a daze, being rudely woken up and almost immediately, I felt the bearing down sensation. They yelled for me to not push till the dr came in. It was quite hilarious. A few pushes, and the baby was out at 6am!

IOW I spent only 3hrs in the hospital and I was not as tired as my first birth! Praise God! Now that was a supernatural childbirth! There was no pain! The recovery this time round was even better. The nurses couldn’t believe that I had just given birth when they came into make the bed at 8am.

But I learnt something else – the pethedine shot I took with both #1 and #2 can cause a blue baby syndrome in the baby when administered too late. My room mate’s baby had this condition coz her baby came out real fast. And the baby had to go into ICU for monitoring. After reading up somemore, I found out that all the drugs given to a mother during labour affects the baby somehow.

Much later on, I had friends who shared that due to the epidural they took, their babies were so sleepy, they couldn’t nurse. I personally tried to help a friend to nurse her baby. But her baby was so drugged that he didn’t even have the natural instinct of rooting that all newborns have! All he did was sleep! And even when bottlefed, he only took one bottle in the 3 days he was at the hospital!

Of course there are many women who took the epidural with no seen effects on either the mom or the baby but there are risks involved whenever the mum takes any drug during labour and the benefits need to be weighed carefully againt the baby’s needs.

Birth Story #1

*** For my 6 other birth stories, go to My Birth Stories ***

 

Reading other people’s birth stories can either be inspiring or downright scary.

For expectant mothers-to-be, I always advise them to stay away from those horror stories. No point scaring yourself silly with all the what-ifs. And yet there is no doubt that birthing can be scary coz it is an unknown experience. You can talk to all the poeple in the world but until you actually experience it yourself, it is all head knowledge. Kinda like a touch from God, eh?

Having a few friends who have either birthed recently or going to birth in a couple of months made me reflect on my own birth stories. And I like dwelling on them coz I see so clearly the hand of God on the pregnancies, labour and birth. I would say I am one of the rare women who have had enjoyable and pleasant births Nothing to do with me, I may add! It is all by the grace of God and His work on the cross.

I hope that by sharing with you, I may encourage those who are about to birth or those contemplating motherhood to know that birth can be a not scary thing. But please note that every birth is different, there is no magic formula. We just can’t pigeon hole God, chant some mumbo jumbo and expect God to do exactly what we want.

#1 – this birth was what I called my baptism of fire!

We had read the book Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize and understood and agreed with her that the work on the cross by Jesus has redeemed us from the curse of “sorrow” or “pain” of childbirth.

But we didn’t know anyone who believed in it and how it would actually work out. So when the contractions hit, we thought “this is it!” and went to the hospital on the dr’s advice even though God didn’t tell us to do so. Oh we prayed but we didn’t wait for His answer! And what happened was awful.

I had to be put on a drip to “accelerate the labour” as the dr said coz my labour had stalled. He also proceded to break my waterbag. Combined, they brought on the most awful contractions that were so fast and hard that it left me gasping for air! In the beginning tho’ it was still painless but after a while, there was PAIN!!! I finally caved in and took the pethedine shot and used the gas mask.

My body, which was designed perfectly by God to bear and birth babies, was being sabotaged by the drip and premature bursting of the waterbag! In a normal process, the body is able to handle each contraction as it came, releasing enough endorphins (the happy hormones) to counter each contraction. But with an artifically induced labour, the body’s mechanism is short circuited.

I wanted to push but was not allowed to because I hadn’t dlilated to 10cm. I spent most of the hours from 8am (when the drip was inserted & the waterbag broken) to 4pm trying NOT to push. So when it was time to push, I had no more energy!

Baby was finally taken out via a vacuum cap And I had the “requisite” episiotomy Besides being physically tired out, recovery was surprisingly fast. But I was sore at the bottom for about 3 – 5 days.

What did I learn? No matter what happened, God’s hand was still on me and the baby. On that day in the hospital, our birth was the only natural one out of the five births that happened! Oh! The power of prayer and the grace of God!

But I knew that this was far from the Supernatural Childbirth I was meant to have. So I read up and joined discussions on email groups that spoke about a natural birth. One big mistake I made was to go into the hospital too early!

Going in too early had several consequences. One of which is that labour can stall or stop altogether. The stressful situation in the hospital (nothing beats labouring at home if you have no medical condition!) is not comfortable.

So if you are near your EDD and your labour stalls, then there is most likely going to be an induction. Yucks! If the baby is due, the induction may be just a very painful way to labour. BUT if the baby is not ready to come out and there is an induction, your body will not cooperate. Contractions will not be strong enough and there’ll be no dilation. But if the waterbag has been broken, the baby has to come out so a c-section will be performed!

So the main lesson I learnt was : not to go in too early!

Dealing With Morning Sickness

By the grace of God, I have finally reached Week 18 of our 6th pregnancy. It’s been a long, long way! I have never felt sicker or more tired than in the 1st 16weeks of this pregnancy. It was so bad (for me) that I had to surrender and succumbed to getting a cleaning service company to clean my house for two months!

Even bathing the children was exhausting! How ridiculous, I thought. But I just couldn’t fight it. It was either get external help or feel even more sick if I insisted on doing everything myself. I was just glad I didn’t throw up. Feeling nauseous all the time was bad enough.

So how did I cope? Afterall, the cleaning ladies only came in oncea week. School still had to be done, meals still had to be cooked. The basics of housekeeping still had to be performed.

Well, I just did it. But a little at a time. I had to pace myself. And I prayed A LOT! It really forced me to rely on God and not on my own strength coz I didn’t have any!

Since school was priority, we always did school first. If that wiped me out and I couldn’t cook, then I ordered in. Yes, it wasn’t healthy but it was better than starving! Lol! And it was only for a season.

Where housework was concerned, I started teaching my older 2 (8.5 & 6)to get even more involved than before. Yes, they were not as thorough as I would like them to be. But hey! It was still better than nothing. And they are slowly learning.

Cooking, I must confess was a real challenge. Just looking at the raw food was enough to make me nauseous. To handle it really made me gag. This is where discipline came in handy! I just did it. And quickly too!

Having no help meant that I just had to do it or the children get nothing to eat. Afterall, you can only order in MacDonald’s so many times a week! I couldn’t even order KFC or Pizza Hut. Those made me even more nauseous.

BTW I tried all the natural things that many said worked for them. None worked for me except drinking ice cold water. Lemon water worked for one day. Taking dry crackers/biscuits made me more sick. Vit B6 did nothing for me. Switching to a B complex worked for one day.

I used to be able to eat hard boiled eggs to ease the nausea with my 5th pregnancy. This time round, it made me sick. Drinking peppermint tea helped a bit.

It is said that when one has morning sickness, the body is purging the toxins from the body and that the body is instinctively rejecting foods that are not healthy for the baby. I personally believe this.

While almost everything was unappetising to me, foods with MSG, caffeine, sugar, refined carbohydrates made me feel 100 times worse. Eating simple meals in smaller and frequent quantities made me feel better. Drinking lots of ice cold water felt good!

Being tired made me feel a lot worse. My body was telling me to slow down. I had to comply or suffer the consequences. I marvel at how God has so wonderfully made our bodies!

Nursing my toddler made me really nauseous and uncomfortable. I prayed to God to lead her to wean! She did. On 22nd December, 2006, 4 days before she turned 22 mths old. My longest nurser yet!

I just thank God that once I hit 16weeks, my energy level returned. I am still nauseous and I still have to watch what I eat. But with tht return of my energy level, I could start re-organising the house and de-cluttering to make space for another blessing!

Indeed what an honour it is to have found favour with God that He should bless us with another baby. The Bible says in Psalm 127 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” (NKJV, emphasis, mine). May we never take for granted that it is us who controls the womb!

What A New Mother Needs

Having a baby is a major adjustment to your life.

Whether it is the 1st baby or the 5th, everyone in the family has to adjust and adapt to the changed dynamics in the home. Of course many times having the 1st baby is the most challenging especially if one has never handled a baby. But then I have personally found that having our 5th was the toughest for me – yet!

So what can help the new mother adjust to the addition of baby into the family? From my own observations, besides prayer, there is one thing that is most important to the new mother – support and encouragement.

Support and encouragement : new mums need lots of it! After birth, the mother is physically tired (they don’t call it labour for nothing! Lol!). Her hormones are settling down and she is probably very emotional She does not need to hear any negative things that cause her to doubt her ability as a mother. We should always encourage the mother to be the mother.

What do I mean? A lot of times I hear the well meaning grandmother or confinement lady say “Aiyah! You don’t know how to carry/bathe/soothe/etc.. the baby!” And then she takes over. So how is the new mother supposed to learn how to be a mother if everytime she tries, she’s taken over by the grandmother or confinement lady?

For breastfeeding mothers, they need even more support and encouragement!

Breastfeeding, though God’s gift to babies, is not embraced by many. It is deemed either too difficult or for the poor So for those who persevere, the last thing they need to hear is “You don’t have enough milk!”

Our bodies produce milk according to the baby’s needs and demands. But because we can’t see the milk going into the baby, many presume that the milk is insufficient. Worse is if the mother is not well endowed!

Being there for new mothers is helpful. While our husbands can help, it often takes a fellow mother to sympathise and help another one through the rough early days. I remember crying when we had our 1st who was so difficult to handle in the early days coz he had the need to suck but got angry when I had a letdown and milk went pouring into his mouth. He would scream and yell his head off.

My friend had no advice but she was there listening to me pour out my woes and her encouragement that these days will pass was helpful even tho I didn’t think I would make it!

One other thing that helped me was receiving practical help from kind friends. As we have no no live-in help, any practical help offered is great It allowed me to concentrate on the baby and on the other children instead of housework and cooking.

Last but definitely not least, pray for the new mother. Knowing that you are praying with her and for her gives her great comfort. Even as you offer practical help and encouragement, direct her back to God, for indeed as the psalmist says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1.

We can’t always be there for the new mother but God can. We don’t always have answers for her but God does!