Discipline

Discipline is a tricky subject. How we deal with it depends on several factors – how we were disciplined as a child, what books we have read, the well disciplined or ill-disciplined children we have come across, etc. Even within Christian circles there are different ways of handling this subject.I am not going into any discussion of why method A is better than method B or C. I am just going to share how we approach discipline in our house.

As Christians, we (my dh & I) believe that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” Rom 3:23. You will be able to see the sin nature at work even at a very young age in how the child instinctively wants his way all the time. And I am not referring to things that pertain to survival.

Eg. a baby who cries in anger when he doesn’t get his way. Later on you will see the older child exhibiting other manifestations of the sin nature (lying, being sneaky, outbursts of temper tantrums). And he sure didn’t need anyone to teach him. It is all comes very naturally to him.

So how do we discipline? We start as soon as possible. From about 6mths when bb starts getting mobile, we will start setting boundaries for the baby.

Eg. no touching the buttons on the tv/CD player. We will say “No” and then tap the hand firmly. There is no need to raise my voice. This may be repeated & when the child obeys, a hug is given & praise given. If the child persists, I will again repeat “no” with the tap & then remove him. This same method is used for other issues that I want to teach him obedience in.

With all 5 children, I have noticed that when I am consistent ALL the time, the child learns very fast what no means. At this stage, the child will keep on testing to see if mum is really serious about what she says. But once he sees that I am, he happily goes on about his own play & exploration & adheres to the boundaries set for him.

This also achieves something else for me – I can leave the child alone in the room (for a while) safely, knowing that he will not touch stuff or do stuff that he is not supposed to. Teaching them self-control at an early age is a great blessing for him & for me!

We do not believe in just using destraction a a method coz it doesn’t teach the child anything. He will forget about what he was going to do – for now. Then when he sees the object again, he will try again & you will have to keep on distracting him. But what if you were not there? Then he learns that as long as you are not there, he can do whatever he wants.

We start as young as possible because then self-control becomes almost second nature to him. I say almost because it really is not a natural trait. A lot of people have passed comments along the lines of “Oh! He’s only a baby/child, let him be.” That may be somewhat acceptable when the baby is really a baby.

But when then do you teach self-control? This is something that does not come naturally & we all know of adults who don’t have self-control. Why else do we now need anger management classes? If these same adults who pay good money to learn anger management had been taught self-control when young, they would have saved themselves & their loved ones lots of grief!

Start young – for the children’s sake & yours!