SAHM = Brain Dead Mom?!

Ahhh!!!! I was asked this question a week ago by a friend, who had the same question posed to her by her friend. A mother also posed this question to a email loop I am on recently. So – does being a stay home mum make us brain dead?

Honestly, I do not understand why these women feel this way. Let’s examine some of the points commonly raised by those who feel this way :

Boredom – Well, I suppose one can get bored doing the same stuff over & over. But don’t working mums face the same thing too? In every job you do, there’s always a part of it that is routine & requires very little brain power. And so this is where I put housework

But even then…for those who think that housework is a brainless job, I will put to you that you haven’t tried doing a proper job. Why else are good maids & part time helpers so hard to find? You do need brains to plan out how exactly you can work efficiently. Slipshod work – sure, anyone can do that. But housework done efficiently & properly – ah! that takes skill! Once mastered, of course you can go on auto-pilot.

Baby Talk makes your brain turn to mush. Well, in the 1st place, why engage in baby talk?! Talking to your child in complete & proper sentences is good for you & for baby

All I do is face the 4 walls & the baby. Ok – I don’t get this when the person infront of me complaining is a mother of 1 or 2. When I had 1 child, we were able to go out anytime, anyday.

Either shopping , taking a bus ride, swimming, library, the playground or structured playdates at Gymboree. And when we go out, we would invariably meet other mother-child pairings & strike up a conversation which may or may not lead to friendships! Going out with toddler & baby is a little more tricky but still very doable.

I have even been able to go out with 4 children (at that time ages 6 & under) while heavily pregnant with #5 on public transport. So you can to!

BTW if breastfeeding is your excuse to stay stuck at home, I’d say invest in a few pieces of nursingwear! When I had David, I didn’t know nursingwear existed but I still went out with him. When I had Sarah, I found Moms in Mind, an online Singaporean nursingwear retailer. Oh! I was in heaven! I could even nurse in a dress!

I don’t want to talk about baby all the time. In this day & age of internet connectivity, there are so many forums to participate in. I don’t think this is a valid excuse. Join a forum in your area of interest & talk all you want to like-minded people.

I am wasting my diploma/degree/expertise/etc… Are you really? I think as a mother, we hold an amazing assortment of “jobs” at any one time. Doctor, nurse, dentist, manager, chef, housekeeper, author, poet, singer, psychologist, pastor…. And if you homeschool, your even your IT expertise comes in handy!

All I am saying is thinking that your education is “wasted” implies that you don’t need any brains to be a mummy! That anyone can take your place as a mother. Hey! I guess that’s why most women have little/no qualms about putting their child/ren in childcare while they go out to do the important job of working

So no, I don’t think staying home & not working has made my brains go to mush. I have been home since 1999. I had worked as a magazine feature writer, a public relations excutive in a PR agency & a fashion house and with an advertising agency. Yes my brains don’t work the same way it used to when I was working but like it this way. It is more important for me to be thinking about how to train & guide my little arrows for the Kingdom of God then to worry if there’s going to be any press coverage on the new product that has been launched