Sleep Training – Part 1

Disclaimer : This is not for those who love and enjoy nursing/patting baby to sleep and are fine with co-sleeping and nursing through the night. It is for those who are very sleep deprived and getting very desperate.

I should think that the most popular question many people ask of mothers with new babies is, “So how many times does he wake up at night?” or variation of the same question There seems to be an obsession with the amount of sleep baby can sleep at night without waking for a feeding.

I guess it is “normal” to want the baby to sleep through so that we, the parent can sleep through too! And I think the biggest adjustment most parents have to go through when they have a baby is getting used no longer being able to sleep 8hrs at a stretch without any interruption! Well, unless you ask the maid/grandparent to sleep with the baby at night.

So how does one get the baby to sleep through the night? And what exactly is sleep training?

Before I became a mom, I never knew that one had to “train” a child to sleep. Then I was introduced to Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo’s book, “Preparation for Parenting” and “Preparation for the Toddler Years”. Published by Growing Families International, these books are now known as the Infant Way Series and Toddler Way Series respectively. They also have a secular version called Becoming Babywise* and Becoming Toddlerwise*. All these are available at Growing Families International, Singapore.

This was the first time I was introduced to the concept of having a routine based on the feed-wake-sleep cycle. Not only did I no longer have to guess if the baby is hungry or tired or bored, the baby also no longer associated sleep with nursing or a bottle. For a more detailed explanation on sleep patterns and sleep association, I found “Sleeping Through The Night” by Jodi Mindell Ph.D. (available at National Library) to be helpful.

Teaching Baby to Sleep By Himself – Before you even start, pray, pray, pray!

Before you even start, pray, pray, pray!

Pray that the baby will have good and healthy sleep habits. Actually, you should have prayed this even when baby was in the womb! Keep taking it to the Lord.

I will not cover the how-tos here. I suggest you get a copy of the books I mentioned to understand the principle behind it before implementing any sleep training. And be consistent!

The basic premise is that the child needs to be taught to self soothe to sleep and not be dependent on nursing/patting/rocking/singing/etc….If he is dependent on these things, then when he awakens in the middle of the night, he will need to look for these things to put them back to sleep. In other words, he cannot go back to sleep till he is nursed/patted/rocked/sung to/etc…

A baby tends to cry when you first get him to sleep on his own. Why? He has to unlearn his sleep association! If he has depended on you to nurse/pat him to sleep for the past 6 months, he will definitely protest at being asked to self-soothe himself and go to sleep!

A child that can go to bed alone and with minimal or no fussing is a blessing to any home and especially so in a home with more than one child and mom is alone. Mom can then proceed to do what she needs to do without spending half an hour or more “making” the child sleep.

Over the years, I have learnt that the fastest and least painful way to sleep train a baby is to spend the first two months watching and observing baby’s natural sleep pattern and rhythm.

I have noticed that most of mine will start feeling sleepy after being awake for 1 to 1.5hrs They will then start to fuss and may even root for the breast. If I carry and rock gently for a while, they will doze off. So when it is time to teach the baby to sleep on his own, I will put him down for his nap after 1.5hrs of awake time. And even as he cries, it’ll be just for 5minutes at most.

If I hurry and put him down before the 1.5hrs interval, he will be screaming because he is not ready. And if I am “late”, he’ll tend to be overtired and scream loudly too!

I usually do not do this before they are 3months. As they learn to go to bed by themselves in the daytime, I will also get them to go to bed by themselves at night. But I will still nurse them if they wake up in the middle of the night. To me, once they are able to sleep by themselves, anything else is a bonus!

….to be continued……….

Click here for Sleep Training – Part 2