Who Are Our Children Modelling After?

Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1

Can we really say that to our children as Paul said to the early Christians? Are we imitating Jesus in our daily life so that our children see what it means to be a Christian on a daily basis, and the practical applications of our faith?

Like it or not, children will copy what we do. They will especially pick up behaviour and speech from those they spend the most time with.

So there are 2 issues at hand :

1. Are we good imitators of Christ? and
2. Who are our children spending most of their time with?

1. Are we good imitators of Christ?

If we are imitators of Christ, we would be manifesting the glory of God in our daily circumstances, not only on “special” occasions. Oswald Chambers in My Utmost For His Highest often reminds us that it is in our daily hum-drum of our lives that the depth (or shallowness?!) of our faith is demonstrated.

Put it this way – Do people know that I am a Christian without me telling them? Does my behaviour show it? My speech? My dressing? My lifestyle? Or do people see a worldly person who just attends church?

We may be able to trick friends and extended family but it is hard to trick the little ones in our home who see us 24/7 in all sorts of circumstances. If we say we trust God but worry about the circumstances we are in, then even if they don’t comprehend everything due to their age, they can sense that we are not fully trusting God. It’s a simple case of just do what I say/teach but not what I do that they always pick up.

If you have both big and little ones at home, you’ll be able to see for yourself the degree of your influence over them, especially in the area of speech. Listen to how your older ones speak to the younger ones and you can “hear” yourself! How embarrassing!

Just a few days ago, I was giving a lecture to my oldest about his slipshod work and then barely a few hours later, I hear him saying exactly the same thing to his younger brother! Made me laugh then but the immense influence I have over my children is a grave matter indeed! Sometimes I have to stop and think, “Is that how I talk to them?!” How not nice!

And almost every other day I see my 2.5yr old toddler going around carrying either a real baby doll or an imaginary baby and the things she says to them are an eye-opener for me. I get to know what she sees when she watches me tend to her baby sister. Just a moment ago she told me, “Shhh! Don’t sing. Baby sleeping!” How I need to model for her a caring and loving mother!

Even how we treat the babies and toddlers have an impact on them. Are we curt and irritated when the baby or toddler interrupts our work or are in need of our attention?

The older ones will model our behaviour towards the baby and toddler. Are we gentle and caring, seeing the baby as a blessing to the family? OR do we see them as little annoyances?

Not only does it colour how they treat the baby they probably would carry this attitude with them when they become parents themselves. Why else does an abused child turn abuser when he has a family of his own? Modelling, of course.

2. Who are our children spending most of their time with?

We may be SAHMs but who are we leaving our children to most of the time? The maid? TV? Grandparents? Some SAHMs have schedules packed to the brim and often leave the children behind with someone else. As an aside, my dh often jokes that these are not stay-at-home-moms since they are not at home!

Or perhaps it is the children who have a packed schedule with numerous enrichment classes to attend to develop their full potential.

Who are these people we are putting our children under? Do they have lifestyles and morals openly against what the Bible teaches? Sure you may explain to them that these are “lost” people and to love the sinner but hate the sin.

But let us be realistic – most young children are not likely to grasp this concept. And older children may not be able to see beyond the fun and exciting persona of this teacher.

I am not saying don’t go out at all or don’t send your child/ren for enrichment class/es but do ask yourself – who does your child spend most of his time with? Is that person/s a godly influence?

Remember – Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits. 1 Corinthians 15:33

Our children will model after the people they spend most of their time with.

May we be able to stand tall and say with Paul to our children, Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1