Experiencing God in Pregnancy

Since 2003, after the birth of our 4th blessing, my husband, Henson, and I have been conducting a Christian ante-natal talk, Experiencing God in Pregnancy. We do not focus on the medical issues as per the usual ante-natal classes offered by the hospitals or the clinics. But rather, we focus on the Christian perspective of going through a pregnancy, labour, delivery and being parents with practical tips thrown in as well.

However, as the family has grown we would most likely not be giving these talks anytime in the near future. So if you are thinking of starting a family or are expecting now and want a different perspective on pregnancy and birthing, do come and join us on 8 November 2008 (Saturday).

And just this year, two ladies who attended our talks have had their own supernatural childbirth. Check out their stories here and here.

We will cover the following topics during the talk :

• knowing your position in Christ,
• our Birth Stories (all 6 of them!),
• the Chrisitian’s antenatal response,
• preparing to be parents and
• Q & A

So do come and join us on :

Date : 8 November 2008 (Saturday)
Venue : Wesley Methodist Church
Time : 2:30 – 6:00 pm
Cost : $2.00 (Light refreshments will be provided)

If you are interested in attending, please contact Evangeline Leong at 68378610. Do pass this on to your friends who may be interested. But please note that this is not a medical talk.

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For my personal musings, visit Building An Ark in Singapore

Using ourselves as THE yardstick

As sinful and prideful human beings, we tend to judge others based on our own beliefs, values and practices. And then conclude that the other person must be wrong if they do not follow what we do or believe. But I have learnt that this is not always fair or correct. After all, as the saying goes – you need to walk a mile* in his/her shoes before you should even begin to judge a person.

Take the sensitive issue of being a stay-at-home-mom. Some like to think they have the nobler job of sacrificing their all to be there for their child/ren. And look down with disdain at the working mom who must be definitely a self-centred mom who loves her job more than her child/ren. Is this necessarily true?

Or the other sensitive issue of breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Just because one does not breastfeed or co-sleep, does that make one a more selfish parent than one who does?

When we use ourselves as THE yardstick, we tend to become very biased and even closed-minded. We forget to be matured and open-minded to accept that there are many options out there for each family, each individual. And we should not put down the other party who does not believe what we believe.  Please note though, that I am talking about trivial, non-salvation issues, not obvious sins

 

Therefore, unless the other person does something obviously wrong and/or objectionable, we should strive to be pleasant to one another and stop using ourselves as THE yardstick. We can state nicely and respectfully that we disagree with their choices/actions and why but we need not look down on the person.

Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

And if we are the ones being judged, don’t get offended. Every family is different. Every family is called to do something different. If we are truly obeying the call of God in our lives and doing our best to live it out, no one has the right to put us down or to judge us. But on our part, let’s not judge others just because we wouldn’t dream of doing what they are doing.

I know, I know. It is easier said than done! Many times I have judged someone too, especially on issues that I am passionate about. May this be a reminder to you and to me the next time we want to comment on any topic but especially those we are passionate about.

Afterall, as we feel hurt that we were judged, so do we hurt those we judge without finding out their reasons behind what they do.

* I prefer the funnier version of this saying that goes - don’t judge a person till you have walked a mile in his shoes coz by then you would be a mile away and you would have his shoes!

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For my personal musings, visit Building An Ark in Singapore.

Being Frugal – Clothing

How does one save money on clothing? Especially when you have children who outgrow them so fast?

Hand-me-downs

Well, one easy way is to ask around for hand-me-downs. There are many families out there who do not blink an eye splurging on clothing for their little ones that get worn 2 to 3 times and are then put aside.

And because they have so many clothes to choose from, their clothes often show very little wear and tear. And most of these clothings are branded stuff. They would only be too glad to pass on these clothing.

Auctions

The other way is via auctions. Just make sure you ask all the questions before you place your bid and you should be fine.

Exceptions

There are however certain items I do not buy used. One of them is shoes. I have been indoctrinated from young that every child should wear new shoes so that it does not affect the growing child’s feet. Used shoes have the imprint of the previous owner in them and that obviously will not match your child’s food imprint. It will then affect their gait. Or so I have been told. So unless the shoes are relatively new, I would not buy them or accept them.

Look for quality vs quantity

Sometimes as we look to be frugal, we must also not be penny wise and pound foolish. It is much better to buy 2 pieces of quality clothing than 5 pieces of cheap stuff. By quality, I do not necesarily refer to branded or expensive items. You need to look at the workmanship and material used. Not all fabrics are the same. T-shirt materials often do not last as long or maintain their shape as well as cotton or denim fabrics.

Need vs Want

And the best way to save money on clothing is to not have so many pieces of them! Really – does a child need 10 sets of clothing? Do you?

 

Women are especially guilty of buying more pieces of clothing and accessories than we would realistically be able to wear. But we keep on buying them to keep up with the trends and then complain that our wardrobes are too cramped. I read that an average woman owns 40 pairs of shoes! Imagine the number of shoe cabinets I would need if I let my 4 daughters (so far) own 40 pairs of shoes each!

One tip

There is this tip I learnt that I would like to pass on to see if you really need all 50 tops and 8 pairs of jeans. Hang ALL your clothes with the hanger hook facing you. Everytime you wear a piece of clothing, hang the hanger back the correct way, with the hook facing inside. At the end of the month, or two months tops, look at the number of hangers that are still facing the wrong way. You can immediately see which outfits have been worn which ones to throw away/donate.

Let’s not be wasteful and buy things just because you don’t want to feel deprived. I understand the power of retail therapy  so let’s also have self-decipline, ok?

Sewing your own clothes

What about sewing your own clothes? Honestly, I have found that it costs more to sew your own since we tend to buy nicer fabric and accessories to go with it (buttons, ribbons, etc) But one cannot deny the feeling of satisfaction and pride when one wears one’s handiwork or see your children in them so you will have to weigh the cost of this project.

Care of clothes

We also need to care for our clothing properly so that they can last. Drying your clothes with a dryer often wears it out faster since the heat will over time break down the fibres of the fabric. So we sun dry our clothing. And clothing are hung inside out so that the sun’s rays do not cause rapid fading. This way helps us cut down the use of electricity too!

Certain delicate items should be handwashed. But I don’t have the time to do that so I either do not buy clothing that need extra care or I put them into the netted laundry bags easily found in supermarkets. This prevents the clothing from being over stretched.

Always ask…

Clothing (including accessories and shoes) needs to be purged regularly just like the other items in the home. Remember, space like time is finite! Always ask yourself : do I need it or so I just want it.

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For my personal musings, visit Building An Ark in Singapore.

Myth #8 : Our children never fight with each other

Ya right. We can only hope!

Paul reminds us that ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). ALL – including those cute little bundles of joy and precocious toddlers.

So yes, they do fight. Thankfully, not the head bashing, teeth biting kind but they still do fight. And the little toddler is not exempt from it either!

And what do they fight about? Toys, obviously. And when one does not want to play by the rules or when one just does not want to play! Oh, they’ll find things to fight about usually. How about, “Don’t look at me!”, “Don’t sit next to me” and “Don’t touch me!” They also know which buttons to press to provoke the other! So when someone is bored, trouble usually is not far behind!

Thankfully, they do not fight all the time. And when they do, it is usually resolved in a short time – either by themselves or occasionally, with me as the mediator.

Also, just because we homeschool, people also assume that the children are therefore well behaved and never have bad attitudes. Need I say again that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)? One doesn’t really need to learn bad attitude. One just has it due to our sin nature.

Yes, the children are relatively well behaved and that would be due to the amount of time we have with them to train and discipline them daily. And also, they learn pretty fast that if they keep on fighting with their siblings, they would have no one to play with eventually.

So they learn to keep peace with one another and also learn to deal with each other’s eccentricities. Like I said always, life is never boring around here.

 

Check out the rest of the other myths HERE.

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For my personal musings, visit Building An Ark in Singapore.

Another musical extravaganza!

Well not really but it will be a great time of worship and praise come 17th October 2008!

My dear husband, or Brother Henson as most of you know him as, will be presenting a musical testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness in a 2hr long session with his own originally composed songs.

More details can be found at his own personal website at www.BroHenson.org. Come and be blessed!

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My personal musings can be found at Building An Ark in Singapore.

Myth #7 : Our Meals are Always Balanced and Healthy

MacDonald’s, Rite Pizza, instant noodles, food cooked with pre-mixes…

Yes, we resort to eating such stuff. Sometimes once in a while, other times a few times a week! So no, our meals are not balanced nor healthy. There are even many meals where no vegetables or fruits appear!

Why?

Well, the intention is always there – as with all other good intentions. But – life happens! When I am not nauseous and pregnant, I follow a menu plan. But even then, sometimes we go off-track. Either due to pure laziness or sheer exhaustion.

Other reasons (excuses?!) include mom falling sick, or we have an extremely cranky baby or we go for an outing leaves mom more tired than she expected and so, the menu plan is put aside and we eat whatever is fast and easy to prepare.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to cook and eat healthy but I am realistic that in this phase of my life with many young children under my care, practicality wins over idealism – all the time! 

And I just refuse to be held hostage by someone else’s view that food must consist of x, y, z and must be always made from scratch and be organic and wholesome. I try my best and I trust that God will fill in the gap for me. I am not a superwoman and can’t do everything. Or rather, I choose not to be superwoman as I believe that if I choose to go that route, I am only going to end up stressing myself and my family.

If this helps alleviate some guilt off you, I’m glad. Please, I am not saying that you should not eat healthily, ok? I am saying we don’t always eat what is healthy. We try to most of the time. And by eating in most of the time, I guess we are already healthier than those who dine out all the time?!

If you can, and love preparing all those healthy, balanced meals for your family, great! Perhaps you can send some over next time? But if you are burdened by guilt that you are an awful mom just because you feed your children frozen food, I am here to tell you, it’s ok. Once this phase passes, you can start cooking healthily again.

And psst…our children don’t eat vegetables! Yes, you read that right. So if you are wondering how to get your children to eat more vegetables, please don’t ask me! Lol! Look – I choose my battles and there are many battles to fight And eating vegetables is not one of them at this point in my life. It will be soon – just not now.

 

Check out the rest of the other myths HERE.

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For my personal musings, visit Building An Ark in Singapore.