How I Became A Christian

But by the grace of God I am what I am 1 Cor 15:10

So what’s my story?

Was I “born” a Christian? Did I “convert” because I married a Christian man? The answers to both questions is “no”.

Being a Christian is something I thought I’d never be. Especially when told by a stranger that I was destined to hell when I was a child. Proud and stubborn me did not take to that kindly. So be it then, was my first thought. Life was generally good. I had no need for God. Besides my dad had always taught us to be self-sufficient. Not to depend on others, much less God.

The turning point came after a marriage proposal from my then-boyfriend, Henson, that God revealed Himself. Henson said he wanted a Church wedding. But the problem was that we needed to be members of a Church before any Church would let us marry in it! To cut a very long story short, we went Church shopping and decided on Wesley Methodist Church as Henson’s home church was undergoing renovation on the date we wanted to get married on. And then he found out that he wasn’t really a member but just a friend of the Church!

So instead of simply just transferring his membership from his home church to Wesley MC, both of us ended up having to attend Wesley’s membership course. In my mind, I would just sit through the class and go through the motions just to gain membership into the Church to get married. Terrible, eh? But thankfully, God had other plans for me.

Somewhere between the 4th and 5th class, God touched me. No, there was no lightning and thunder ala Paul’s road to Damascus. But a very firm conviction that this IS the TRUTH. I don’t remember the exact point but I believe it was during one of Dr Aw Swee Eng’s Creation lectures. It just made sense. And when TRUTH stares at you in the face, you would have to just accept it. To deny it is foolish.

So I was baptised in November 1997. That membership class opened both our eyes in so many ways. You could say that was the turning point in our lives My husband is now a pastor of Covenant Christian Church. God has done many things with and through us since then.

And this is the story of how I, who was a lost and wretched sinner, became reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. Without fail, everytime I think back to those early days, I always, always marvel that God would in His infinite grace and mercy call and draw me close to Him. Thank you Jesus for saving me and for not giving up on me!

Why So Many Children?

So why do we have so many children? No, it is not that we absolutely adore babies nor am I in any way the maternal sort. In fact, I never wanted children.  So how did we end up with 7 children in slightly less than 11 years?

There are 2 main reasons :

1. Children are God’s rewards.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from Him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they content with their
enemies in the gate.

Ps 127:3 – 5

Children are little blessings that the Lord sends down to us. We almost never say no to being rewarded with a fatter bank account or a bigger house or a bigger car. But how many times have you seen people shrink back in horror (mock or otherwise) when you ask them if they would like to have more children? What does this say about society and its view on children? As someone wrote in our local newspaper some time ago, children are often viewed as a liability, not an asset. I do not deny that the little people are hard work. That is a fact. But the work we do for them and with them has eternal repercussions. Working at the office does not

The Bible clearly say that children are blessings. But many, in today’s world, Christians included, do not see them as such. In fact barreness is celebrated! People try all sorts of ways* to not get pregnant. But when viewed through the eyes of scriptures, barreness is a curse from the Lord! Not something to covet.

2. God is the one who opens & closes wombs

We did not start out being quiverful. (The term “quiverful” is used when families trust in the Lord to plan the number of children they have and even the spacing between them.) Like all intelligent and practical couples  we were going to have the lovely perfect 2-child family. And lo and behold, when we had 1 boy & 1 girl, everybody told us that we can “close shop”.

But as I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I came across an email group that discussed being quiverful. It was a strange and alien concept to me. Afterall, God gave us brains, right? So why should we throw away our brains and let God lead and plan our lives? And remember, I did not particularly like children and have never been one to coo over babies. We definitely did not start out planning to have a large family. Two is more than enough, thank you!

And yet, something about the quiverful philosophy spoke to me and I shared it with dh. Both of us came to the same conclusion. We say we that we trust God, that He is in control and He knows best. We put our lives and souls into His hands and yet here we are trying to control our own fertility. (Do we actually have control over our fertility???)

So what does that say about our faith in Him? If we say that the Bible is right, that children are blessings and rewards from God, then why are we saying NO to more babies?

For me, there was only one reason why I was saying no – selfishness. Having more than 2 babies would inconvenience me even more than what I was dealing with! Children are hard work. Having more babies meant that I would have to postpone many of my dreams. The more children we have thelonger I have to postpone those dreams. And I would so love to be thin again! Like I said, they were selfish reasons

So in an act of faith, we decided to take God at His word and trust Him to plan out the number of children He has for us and even the spacing of the children. It has been an exciting adventure as we were then very quickly blessed with 7 children in 11yrs!

Is it easy? Nope! And let me tell you, it is tiring too. But the faith walk is never easy and we thank God that He knows how weak our faith is and is ever so gracious to meet us at our level. We freely admit that sometimes we worry that we could have 12 children or more at this rate till I hit menopause. Especially on those days when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. But this line of thought is presumptious and boastful. It may or may not happen.

May this challenge you if you are thinking about having another child but think you are being impractical. Following God does not seem practical. What He calls us to do may not seem wise. But whose standards are we following when we say something is impractical or unwise? God’s? Or the world’s system?

Yes, little people are hard work. Little children that need to be trained drains away your energy. But and I say this to myself all the time when I am feeling down – God has a purpose for each of these little people and He gave them to you and me to raise them up for Him. What an honour to be chosen! What a privilege. And how cute they can be

So that is why we have the number of children we have. Will we have more? I am content to stop here. And I have been content to stop way back when we had 2. But I don’t know what the Lord has in store for us. I can only pray for His strength and wisdom to raise them right.

* I’ve also learnt that almost all chemical and hormonal contraceptives act as an abortifacient. These contraception methods work on 2 levels – a) prevent the egg from being fertilised by the sperm and b) if that fails and fertilisation should occur, make the uterine wall hostile to the embryo so that it is unable to attach itself to the uterine wall. Meaning it causes your body to abort the baby.

 

~~~ Adapted and updated on 30th June 2009. This post was originally published on 9th September 2006 as “Are They All Yours?” ~~~

How To Menu Plan

In my last post on Menu Planning, I shared how menu planning has been a great tool in helping me be more efficient. Here I will share how I plan my menu for the week.

Usually I plan for just one week. But you can plan for a fortnight or even for a month if your month is pretty predictable. Also, if your family is not as fussy as mine, you can actually rotate the same menu over and over. 

For example : Fried rice is served every Monday night while spaghetti is eaten every Tuesday night. Now if I can get my family to accept this, I’d be over the moon!

I usually plan on a week-to-week basis since dh’s schedule is rather unpredictable. There are certain dishes he prefers not to eat and I would cook those on days he’s not home to eat it Also the portions to be bought would be different if he’s not eating with us.

Some moms I know plan by their meals according to the meats they eat. For example, beef is always served on Fridays. So the menu plan may have beef stew the 1st week of the month, beef noodles the 2nd week, beef burgers the 3rd week, etc…Or chicken is always served on Tuesdays, so one week has chicken chops on the menu while the next week has roast chicken. Get creative as to how you want your menu plan to look like.

WhenI first started planning, I was rather stressed thinking I would have to actually come up with 21 meals in a week! But it really wasn’t that bad. First I started out with what I know how to cook – that’s helpful when one is pressed for time :) Then I listed all the dishes we have been eating all this while. I also asked the children what they would like to eat. Also, I would scour websites for easy to cook dishes that are easy to whip up. I do a mixture of Asian and Western cuisine just to jazz things up a bit.

Need more ideas to get started? You can check out Menu Planning Central. There’s also the weekly Menu Plan Monday meme organised by I’m An Organized Junkie every Monday.

The only issue I have with these menu plans is that they are usually ang mo* food. If you need Chinese/Asian food, I suggest you visited tingkat catering** websites. These will usually list a weekly sample of food they offer if you order from them. Check out their list and get inspired!

* ang mo food refers to Western food  ** tingkat catering services is a service we have in Singapore where one pays for a catering company to deliver lunch and/or dinner right up to your doorstep Mondays to Fridays, excluding Public Holidays.

Menu Planning

As promised here’s my take on menu planning.

First of all, a confession. I highly recommend menu planning but I do not like menu planning. I find it a pain to have to sit down and write out what we are going to eat for a whole week in advance. But I do it week after week because I like the results of menu planning. That is – peace and efficiency.

Peace because I no longer have to wreck my brains thinking about what to cook and I do not have to answer “What’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner?” many times a day! I just point them to the menu plan on the fridge.

I am also more efficient when I use my menu plan to organise my freezer/fridge. All the food for each day’s meals are labelled and packed together. This way, all I need is to pull out the correct “bundle” to defrost at the end of each day for the next day’s meals. Also, because my grocery list is based on my menu plan I seldom end up with missing ingredients. I say seldom since I do sometimes miss out an item or do not realise that stocks of another item has runned out.

I have written before in So What’s For Dinner? the benefits of menu planning so I will try not to repeat myself here It is really a lifesaver and another useful tool in making sure that our household runs smoothly. The other tool is, of course, having routines as mentioned in Schedules and Routines.

A menu plan is so simple and helpful and yet many moms I know do not use it. There are also many moms who are highly resistant to it. “There’s no spontaneity!” they cry in protest when I suggest it to them. I personally feel spontaneity is overrated. Especially if spontaneity causes mom to feel stressed and worked up.

The only time I survived without a menu plan was when I had only 3 children and lived a 10 minute walk from the wet market which I visited almost daily as it was next to the only playground in the area. I also had a lot more time back then Now I do not have luxury of always popping to the wet market or supermarket to pick up things that I have forgotten to buy.

Actually, one can still be spontaneous with a menu plan as one dish can be swopped for another on the list. Don’t feel like having fish today? Then swop with Thursday’s Beef Stew. What to do with the plan for fried rice now that dh has decided to bring you out for dinner? Push it to the next week. It isn’t carved in stone. It is a tool to help you be more efficient.

Yes, it takes discipline and time to sit and plan and even a mindset change. But if you want your home to run smoothly, you have to invest the time to plan for it to become so.

Try menu planning. And if at first it does not work out, try again! I had to work at it and tweak it many times before being happy with what I have now.

You may be interested in How To Menu Plan coming up next!

Schedules and routines

One major and important tool in our home is a routine. Having routines have helped to eliminate many day-to-day hassles, especially as our family has grown

I have generally been a fairly organised person, preferring to know what’s ahead rather than to fly by the seat of my pants, so to speak. It did cause some distress when I had a baby since babies have personalities of their own and don’t always follow the structure and routine we set for them.:)

That forced me to relax a bit. Then we had more children…now that really forced me to relax more and yet ironically, with that many young children under my care, I needed routines & schedules more than ever. It was a great tool that allowed me to run the household in a smoother manner. The children also enjoyed the predictability of things. 

In the beginning I had a fixed schedule which I really loathed to deviate from but with more than 3 young children, it was near impossible to run a home with fixed timings. There were a lot more interruptions – diaper changes, potty training, wiping up messes little people create, disciplining…. That’s when I moved from schedules (with fixed times) to routines.

Our routines have been tweaked many times to suit the needs of the family. When we started homeschooling, our routines had to change. And of course when we have a new blessing, we would have to juggle the timings all over again. We now have a rhythm to our lives. Things flow from one to another and not necessarily according to the clock. It is more peaceful.

An example : Every morning, we wake up, shower, have breakfast, clean up and do school. The sequence of things is always the same regardless of what time we (or me!) wake up. Even if we go out for breakfast, we’ll just do school when we’re back.

Living with a routine has also meant that we seldom have to fight with the younger children about meal and nap times. The toddler knows that she naps after lunch. Period. And she also knows that she can’t expect me to play with her when we are doing school in the mornings.

Routines have served us well.

If we should suddenly have to interrupt our routine, it is ok. Alright – I may not be happy, but it is ok We’ll just pick up where we left off.

How does one come up with a routine?

I will just cover this briefly. You can start with items that must be done and then work in the rest of the things that you would like to accomplish. Steve and Teri Maxwell explains it best in their book, Managers of Their Homes available locally at The Home Library. I have learnt much from the book and highly recommend it to young moms who are struggling to get a handle on their household, especially those without maids.

I started off with fixing meal and sleep times. Then I slot in what’s important and necessary to our family, such as schoolwork and chores. 

So, since I like us to eat our breakfast at 8am, lunch at noon and dinner at 6pm, they are what anchors our day. Bedtimes are staggered according to age, starting at 8:30pm.

The bulk of schoolwork is done in the morning when everyone is fresh and awake. Afternoons are for resting and playtime. That’s also when I finish grading their work and getting my internet fix Evenings are totally for playing. But as the children get older, I forsee that a part of our afternoons have to be set aside for schoolwork as well.

If you are feeling that you end each day having accomplished nothing, I would suggest that you set up a routine and write down all the things you have to do. Nothing beats looking at a list and seeing how many things you have done!

I understand that some people may have an adverse reaction to the word routine and stay far away from it preferring spontaneity. That’s fine if things still get done and your family loves it. If that works for you, great! But for those who are struggling to keep their homes in order and/or are feeling overwhelmed, give routines a try.

Next Up : Menu Planning