Don’t Give Up Training Your Children

Training children to be helpers take such a long time to bear fruit. And that is why many of us give up too soon. After all it is usually much faster and easier to get something done yourself (and correctly!) than to teach a child, especially an uninterested one.

But don’t give up. Truly they do get it!

Take our family for instance. I absolutely dislike allowing our children to paint and to play with play doh. Yes I know – mean mama whose kids are going to grow up totally dysfunctional coz they didn’t get to express their artistic bent via paints and play doh But you do know why I abhor it right? The mess! Throw in a toddler and a baby and it drives me nuts.

But here’s where training comes in.

There was a weekend when dh was not around and #1 asked to be allowed to paint. Obviously my immediate response was a ”no!!!” But I managed to control myself and said, “Only if you set it up and clean up after that.”

He must have been most desperate keen to paint that he agreed to it. And not only that, he offered to help the younger ones as well! As I nursed the baby he got some old newspapers and taped them to our dining table. He took out the drawing pads, paint, brushes, paint palette, water, cloth – the whole works by himself! He managed to rope in #2’s help.

The kids all had a ball painting and when they were done, the 2 of them cleaned and packed up everything. It really encouraged me to know that they had been observing me all this while and learning how to prepare the art supplies and clean up after they are done.  Oh – he even got the scolding of the little ones down pat!

And then recently, I relented and allowed the children (7, 6, 4 and 2) to play with play doh. Again, the same deal was issued – play and then clean up. No bits & pieces on the floor for crawling baby to pick up. And they did it! They cooperated with each other and even reminded each other to wash their hands after being done!

So don’t give up moms. All the training we do with them, all the messes we have to clean up after them when we are teaching them a chore, it will all bear fruit one day. I don’t know when that one day is but it’ll come!

Reminds me of the verse in Galatians 6:9 - “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

Teaching Handwriting

Teaching our children to write legibly is important even though the world is increasingly dependent on the computer and mobile phones to communicate

So far, we have 5 children who are able to push pen to paper. But I have yet to try any formal handwriting curriculum or programmes. This is not meant as a boast but to simply share that it is possible to teach them to write legibly without any fancy programmes.

Teaching our children to write often starts with them learning how to print out their names. I usually start this after they turn 3, when they have more control over their small motor skills and when they show great interest in doodling.

I used to think that it didn’t matter how they formed their letters and that it could be corrected later on. But I have since changed my mind It is indeed better to learn the correct way to form the letters from the get go. It is like learning the correct strokes for Chinese characters.

Teaching them how to hold their pencils/pens correctly is also important but alas! I have failed! They start out holding it in the correct way and then somewhere along the line when I was not paying attention, they sort of develop their own incorrect grip. The one child who holds her pencil/pen correctly is the one who used to hold her pencil like a calligraphy brush! She actually needed a pencil grip to correct her grip. She is now the only one holding her pencil correctly. I suppose I have to keep an eagle eye to make sure she doesn’t change her grip! But I digress!

Since I don’t follow any formal curriculum, I make up our own rules as we go along. Just to let you know in case you are wondering what scientific studiens I have done in developing our family’s handwriting philosophy

When they first start writing, I don’t insist that their letters be formed perfectly – as in – all the letters must be in the correct size and be on the line. I just let them write. Then once they are confident in forming their letters without any help, I would gently point out to them how each letter should sit on a 3-lined writing paper.

I either buy the 3-lined notebooks from Popular or I draw my own on a plain jotter book. I will then “dot out” the letters for the child to trace over. I know some moms use yellow pencil to write out the letters or words for the child to trace over it in black. But I find yellow very tiring for my eyes And since already 4 out of 7 chilren wear spectacles, I prefer to reduce any possible eye strain.

And that’s it. They learn how to write out their letters – capital and small letters. Oh and I just make them write about 5 times per letter.

What about cursive letters? I teach them when they are about 6 or 7, depending on their interest and their ability to write their mauscript letters well. I can’t for the life of me remember when I was taught cursive writing in school and horror of horrors, I found out that they no longer teach cursive writing in our schools! What a pity I say.

To teach cursive writing, I get a little lazier or more hardworking – depending on which way you want to look at it I guess. I go to Handwriting For Kids which provides free handwiting (cursive and manuscript) worksheets that you can print out. They have loads of other worksheets as well. There’re also worksheets from Donna Young, THE go to site for worksheets/planners of any kind!

I also use Writing Wizard which allows you to type in whatever you want your child to copy or write. I use this to type out our memory verse for the week and ask the child to copy it out for practice. Once they get the hang of linking the letters, I  stop using the worsheets.

Then it’s just practice all the way.

Hope this helps those of you who do not wish to spend a lot of money to teach your child how to write beautifully. But er…while I use the same method to teach all my children, some just write better than others!