The baby and toddler combo is something I have gone through 6 times! Since the Lord has chosen to bless us with a baby every other year, that’s what I have had to deal with and actually survived! 
Many times as a parent of ONE child, we worry about adding another child to the family. How are we ever going to cope???
And many times people will offer helpful advice such as “get a maid” and/or “send the toddler to childcare/pre-school”. Sometimes, such advice is appropriate – depending on the person’s circumstance.
But I would like to offer alternative advice to what’s usually suggested 
1. Part-time helpers
If you have been reading my blogs, you will know that while we have not had a live-in helper, we have had part-time helpers on and off. They can be such life savers, especially when the children are very young.
We had a few come in when we had 3 children, 5 and below. The helper came in once a week and did the dusting, vacuuming, mopping, washing of toilets, ironing, etc. It was so helpful! And it was also very helpful that we lived in a small 2 bedroom apartment. I never did any major housecleaning in between the helper’s visits! Just the daily washing up and picking up.
2. Tingkat Delivery*
We also had tingkat delivery for a season so that I did not have to worry about meals especially in the early days after baby is born. All I had to do was heat up the food and eat!
3. Simple Meals
After that, I would cook really simple meals. I still cook simple meals – One dish meals and quick stir fries. Or in worse case scenario, get dh to buy back food if he was able to come home early.
4. Empower the toddler
Yes, empower the toddler. Teach him to be independent. Eat, dress, sleep by himself. Do this before the baby’s arrival. And especially important, teach him to play independently. See Teach Your Children to Play on their Own for more details.
All these are important because there will be times you won’t be able to tend to him. If he can eat by himself then you can nurse the baby while he eats and no one needs to wait for the other. Of course you can nurse and feed the toddler – boy do I know it can be done! But seriously this gets tiring after a while. Trust me, you don’t want it to become a habit.
And for those times when you need to put baby to sleep, you don’t want your toddler bawling away or screaming that he needs you to play lego with him. But if he is used to playing independently, then you can leave him be and put the baby to bed.
5. Teach Baby and Toddler to Sleep on Their Own
This to me has been a lifesaver. The toddler was taught to sleep on his own. When it is nap/sleep time, I just needed to say, “Time to sleep” and off he would go and sleep. Sure, he would protest at times but generally he would obey since he has been taught to obey. Same with the baby. I did not have to spend hours carrying or nursing the baby to sleep. If you can’t teach the baby to sleep on her own, then at least work on getting the toddler to go to bed on his own.
If all else fails, then try to time their naps together. This way, at least you get to nap too!
* Do note that I am however nursing #7 to sleep still! 
6. Teach the toddler the meaning of “wait”
Tell him that not everything will be done just because he wants them to be done. He needs to learn to wait and if he can’t wait then he has to learn to do it himself.
7. Talk to your toddler
He understands more than you think. Unless your toddler and baby combo is 12 or 15mths apart – like our pseudo twins - the older one should be able to comprehend many things. Whether he accepts it or not is a different matter
Talk to him, explain that the baby needs more help than he does so he has to be more patient and more loving.
8. Your attitude
I can’t say this enough. If you have a can-do attitude, then many things can be done. But if you have already given up in your mind, then everything will be bleak. Decide if you want this to work or not. If you do, then do what needs to be done to make it work. But if you feel that it is going to be too difficult for you and it may push you towards post partum depression, then get help!
The early days are tough. Let no one fool you about that! No matter what the age gap, it is always an adjustment when you add a member to the family. But when you see them playing and smiling with each other, you will know that your struggles are worth it!
Hi… just want to ask how you watch your toddler while cooking? I’m having some hair-raising episodes with DD cos she’s really poking around everywhere!
Eeks! I realised that I didn’t reply you! Hmm…I usually let her poke around everywhere
There are certain drawers and cupboards she is allowed to open and take out stuff to play with (must pack up afterwards, of course) when I am in the kitchen. But only those assigned ones. Not free for all. Basically my house has nothing dangerous she can get into trouble with unless she goes fall down the stairs or decides to use the sciscors that the older ones forget to put away. But since you only have the toddler, that shouldn’t be an issue 