Mealtime Battles 2

 I have had a few queries on how I manage to get our children to sit at the table and eat by themselves and how we manage to get them to eat vegetables! So I thought I should just share how we do it. In case it helps someone out there It would be done in 2 parts so it doesn’t get too long.  Click for Mealtime Battles 1.

Part Two : What about fussy eaters?

The other bugbear of parents is fussy and picky eaters. Let me first say that my children are fussy eaters. Yes, even though mom here does not pander to their whim and fancy. We have yet to cultivate a true spirit of gratefulness BUT they will eat what is placed infront of them.

What’s the difference you may ask? One says “Thanks for cooking!” and the other says, “Blech!”. Both finish their food. In other words, they eat what is placed infront of them but with an attitude. So we are still working on that.

So how do we get them to eat whatever is infront of them? Just do it! Here’s some common scenarios that I have faced in the past 11.5years of mothering and what I do about them.

Scenario 1 : They complain about the food.
Action by mom : The food gets taken away and they don’t get to eat till the next meal.

Scenario 2: they refuse to eat
Action by mom : The food gets taken away and they don’t get to eat till the next meal.

Scenario 3 : they take forever to eat
Action by mom : A time limit is set (with a timer, if necessary). If it is not finished by the set time, the food gets taken away and they don’t get to eat till the next meal.

See the pattern?

Don’t get to eat till the next meal, means just that. No food, no milk, no biscuits, no nothing except water. Until the next meal – be it lunch, dinner or breakfast. And if they complain about being hungry, they will be reminded of the reason they are hungry. This obviously doesn’t apply to babies and young toddlers. But by the time they are able to comprehend consequences, they will be made to follow these rules.

BUT I must say that so far, I have not had any toddler come and ask me for food once mealtime is over – even if he/she has not eaten much. They know that once they get off their highchair, no more food is offered. I guess it helps that we seldom nibble throughout the day. And no, they do not get a bottle or cup of milk before they go to bed either.

For those who are really stubborn and can indeed hold out till the next meal consistently, there would be a new tactic employed The same meal that they rejected would be served at the said next meal before the current meal can be eaten. I have had to do this only once – so far.

The children now have learnt to eat what is placed before them without grumbling – mostly

Obviously I do not keep on serving what they do not like and obviously I do not heap a huge portion of what they do not like and insist that they eat it. That would be provoking the child to anger, no?

What about vegetables?

This “method” applies to vegetables as well. I will dish out a small portion of vegetables and require that everyone 3yrs and above eat it. However, this only applies to dinner. And only when we are home. I will only die on this hill once a day

This issue has a very natural consequence for a few of our children. They get…constipated! So even the 4yr old will ask for vegetables, saying “Mama can I have vegetables? I don’t want to have a stomach ache.”

The basic premise of insisting that the children eat what is before them is to teach them gratefulness and obedience. And of course to teach them that mom is not a short order cook. They live in a home, not a restaurant If I tell you to eat and you refuse, is that not disobedience? Unless you have an allergic reaction to the food or that the texture causes you to gag, you should just eat it.

Occasionally, we would like to be able to dine out as a family and not have to split ourselves up into 2 or more restaurants due to fussy eaters. Like I said, we are not there yet but we are most certainly working on it.

Just in case you are wondering, we do take into consideration each child’s needs and wishes but sometimes someone (be it mom/dad/a sibling) has to give in a little. That is what love is isn’t it? To consider someone else’s wishes above our own? And this is when they learn that the world does not revolve around them and them only. Sometimes they get what they want and sometimes they don’t

See Mealtime Battles 1 here.

Mealtime Battles 1

I have had a few queries on how I manage to get our children to sit at the table and eat by themselves and how we manage to get them to eat vegetables! So I thought I should just share how we do it. In case it helps someone out there It would be done in 2 parts so it doesn’t get too long. Click for Mealtime Battles 2.

Part One: The highchair is a great friend

The moment our babies start solids they are put into a highchair. So the baby quickly associates eating with the highchair. This way, I don’t have to chase the baby and soon toddler all over the house to feed him/her. Also, it helps to contain the mess. And when the baby proceeds to self-feeding, I place old newspapers under the highchair to lessen the amount of cleaning up after mealtimes.

I also try to time baby’s mealtimes with ours. This welcomes the baby into family mealtimes and allows me to eat my meal with the family too! Obviously I don’t linger and get to savour my food as much as the others do but at least it allows me to eat seated instead of having to stand and eat. Or have to wait till someone finishes and takes over watching the baby so that I can eat.

Mealtimes get even easier once the baby eats more (at the moment the 9 mth old is merely into tasting her food) and is able to self-feed. Ah! Then I get to really enjoy my meals! Once that happens, we will also teach them to sign “finish” once they are done and I would allow them to get off the highchair and go play.

I know some families require their babies to sit through till everyone is done. But we don’t practice it here. At home, each child is allowed to leave the table once they are done with their meal. When we are dining outside, they would however, be required to sit and wait till everyone is done. Only the baby and/or toddler would be taken out, if necessary. The older children – 3 and above would also be required to bring their plates to the kitchen sink once they are done with their meals.

This early training at the highchair really has been very helpful in making mealtimes enjoyable. In the home and especially when dining out.

Hope this helps someone.

See Mealtime Battles 2.

Don’t Give Up Training Your Children

Training children to be helpers take such a long time to bear fruit. And that is why many of us give up too soon. After all it is usually much faster and easier to get something done yourself (and correctly!) than to teach a child, especially an uninterested one.

But don’t give up. Truly they do get it!

Take our family for instance. I absolutely dislike allowing our children to paint and to play with play doh. Yes I know – mean mama whose kids are going to grow up totally dysfunctional coz they didn’t get to express their artistic bent via paints and play doh But you do know why I abhor it right? The mess! Throw in a toddler and a baby and it drives me nuts.

But here’s where training comes in.

There was a weekend when dh was not around and #1 asked to be allowed to paint. Obviously my immediate response was a ”no!!!” But I managed to control myself and said, “Only if you set it up and clean up after that.”

He must have been most desperate keen to paint that he agreed to it. And not only that, he offered to help the younger ones as well! As I nursed the baby he got some old newspapers and taped them to our dining table. He took out the drawing pads, paint, brushes, paint palette, water, cloth – the whole works by himself! He managed to rope in #2’s help.

The kids all had a ball painting and when they were done, the 2 of them cleaned and packed up everything. It really encouraged me to know that they had been observing me all this while and learning how to prepare the art supplies and clean up after they are done.  Oh – he even got the scolding of the little ones down pat!

And then recently, I relented and allowed the children (7, 6, 4 and 2) to play with play doh. Again, the same deal was issued – play and then clean up. No bits & pieces on the floor for crawling baby to pick up. And they did it! They cooperated with each other and even reminded each other to wash their hands after being done!

So don’t give up moms. All the training we do with them, all the messes we have to clean up after them when we are teaching them a chore, it will all bear fruit one day. I don’t know when that one day is but it’ll come!

Reminds me of the verse in Galatians 6:9 - “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

Teaching Handwriting

Teaching our children to write legibly is important even though the world is increasingly dependent on the computer and mobile phones to communicate

So far, we have 5 children who are able to push pen to paper. But I have yet to try any formal handwriting curriculum or programmes. This is not meant as a boast but to simply share that it is possible to teach them to write legibly without any fancy programmes.

Teaching our children to write often starts with them learning how to print out their names. I usually start this after they turn 3, when they have more control over their small motor skills and when they show great interest in doodling.

I used to think that it didn’t matter how they formed their letters and that it could be corrected later on. But I have since changed my mind It is indeed better to learn the correct way to form the letters from the get go. It is like learning the correct strokes for Chinese characters.

Teaching them how to hold their pencils/pens correctly is also important but alas! I have failed! They start out holding it in the correct way and then somewhere along the line when I was not paying attention, they sort of develop their own incorrect grip. The one child who holds her pencil/pen correctly is the one who used to hold her pencil like a calligraphy brush! She actually needed a pencil grip to correct her grip. She is now the only one holding her pencil correctly. I suppose I have to keep an eagle eye to make sure she doesn’t change her grip! But I digress!

Since I don’t follow any formal curriculum, I make up our own rules as we go along. Just to let you know in case you are wondering what scientific studiens I have done in developing our family’s handwriting philosophy

When they first start writing, I don’t insist that their letters be formed perfectly – as in – all the letters must be in the correct size and be on the line. I just let them write. Then once they are confident in forming their letters without any help, I would gently point out to them how each letter should sit on a 3-lined writing paper.

I either buy the 3-lined notebooks from Popular or I draw my own on a plain jotter book. I will then “dot out” the letters for the child to trace over. I know some moms use yellow pencil to write out the letters or words for the child to trace over it in black. But I find yellow very tiring for my eyes And since already 4 out of 7 chilren wear spectacles, I prefer to reduce any possible eye strain.

And that’s it. They learn how to write out their letters – capital and small letters. Oh and I just make them write about 5 times per letter.

What about cursive letters? I teach them when they are about 6 or 7, depending on their interest and their ability to write their mauscript letters well. I can’t for the life of me remember when I was taught cursive writing in school and horror of horrors, I found out that they no longer teach cursive writing in our schools! What a pity I say.

To teach cursive writing, I get a little lazier or more hardworking – depending on which way you want to look at it I guess. I go to Handwriting For Kids which provides free handwiting (cursive and manuscript) worksheets that you can print out. They have loads of other worksheets as well. There’re also worksheets from Donna Young, THE go to site for worksheets/planners of any kind!

I also use Writing Wizard which allows you to type in whatever you want your child to copy or write. I use this to type out our memory verse for the week and ask the child to copy it out for practice. Once they get the hang of linking the letters, I  stop using the worsheets.

Then it’s just practice all the way.

Hope this helps those of you who do not wish to spend a lot of money to teach your child how to write beautifully. But er…while I use the same method to teach all my children, some just write better than others!

It’s A God Thing

Many times I get asked – how do you do it? You cook and clean and homeschool and on top of that, you are a mother of 7!

First of all, let me tell you that I do not do it alone. At this point in my life, I have older children who are able to help out. And before I had these older helpers? I was younger! But seriously, I do not do it all. See 10 Myths Debunked.

But I have been thinking this through and wondering how I can be of help and encouragement to moms who are struggling. And I am reminded that it is a God Thing. 

I can’t do what I do on my own strength. I know that too well. There are many, many days that I try to and fall flat on my face and then rant and complain about it. Days when I feel like I am slowly going mad.

There are systems and routines we have set in place as a family. We have invested in training our children to be helpers and not just consumers in our home. We work as a team. The children are great helpers and I am thankful for them.

But other than that, it is truly God at work. How He sustains dh and myself when we are physically exhausted and mentally drained. And yet everyday we get up and do it all over again. His mercies ae truly new every morning. He certainly guides and sustains us as we do His work.

Is it easy? Nope. No way. And to top it off, it is tiring. I confess readily that there are days when I do wish I were somewhere far, far away doing my own thing. Then I need to re-focus. Tough but necessary. And turn to God. Afterall, it is a God Thing! So you can do it too.

Time to Start Solids

…Or not!

Once a baby hits the 6month mark, almost everyone will assume that he/she has started on solids. Some parents are even distressed that their babies persistently refuse to eat.

Well, I am here to buck the trend – again! We actually deliberately delay the introduction of solids for as long as possible

The usual plan is to start breastfed babies on solids when they turn 6months as their caloric needs increases around that time and it is often thought that breastmilk is no longer sufficient or nutritious but I beg to differ

A baby may be ready to eat at 6months but it doesn’t mean he should. There are many studies done which show that babies who are prone to allergies should delay starting solids as long as possible. And actually, babies are much smarter and more attuned to their bodies needs than we are! So a baby rejecting solids may actually be protecting his delicate gastrointestinal tract!

Since both sides of the family exhibit lots of allergy issues we’ve chosen to breastfeed exclusively for as long as possible. Please note that this does not mean we do not allow babies to eat if they want to. But most of our babies (except #1 & #3) do not lose their tongue thrusting instinct until 8 to 10months. So offering them food only results in them spitting everything out. And while they may want to taste or put what I am having into their mouths, they are by no means ready to eat a full meal or even a teaspoon of it! Like a MOMYS said – “At this age, even if you offer your baby a shoe, he’ll grab it to stuff it into his mouth!” Lol! Babies generally put everything into their mouths. It is not a sign that they are ready to eat.

So I let my babies take the lead. I strongly believe that breastmilk is the best, most well balanced, nutitionally superior food for babies in their first year of life. And I’d rather nurse them than feed them rice cereal. Besides, my babies almost always constipate when they first start solids No matter how diligent I am about increasing their water/liquid intake. Especially if they eat wheat based food items. Which hints at an immature/sensitive gut.

When they are finally ready, I feed them off my plate – gasp! As mentioned, they are mostly interested in tasting, and not eating, so it really doesn’t matter if they food does have seasonings in it. If they were eating more, I would be a lot more careful – as I was with #1.

In case you are wondering, I did do the whole pureeing/blending/mashing thing with our first child. And he loved his food! He would nurse to his heart’s content and then still be able to wallop a bowl of rice porridge! Three times a day! None of the rest were as enthsiastic as he is about food until they were weaned. And yes, he’s still very interested in food!

So far this has been our “pattern”. The babies are allowed to nurse as long as they want. They get a taste of “safe” foods as and when they indicate interest. I don’t prepare special foods for them. They eat so little it is just not practical. Sure, it is possible to freeze their food but it would take us a good 6months to finish even 1 bowl of food!

Usually after they turn one, their interest in food increases And so I feed them what ou family usually eats – which is usually Chinese food (rice, noodles, stir frys). The only thing I do monitor carefully is any reaction to any food. And I avoid giving them any seafood, except fish, and eggs for as long as possible. Now that I know better, I also try to avoid giving them any wheat-based foods until they are past a year old.

By the way, the number of teeth they have or have not does not interfere with their ability to eat solids. Babies are able to gum their food even if they have no teeth. Of course we must use our common sense not to give them hard or chewy foods!

I am not dissuading you from feeding your baby solids But I am sharing that it is not crucial that your baby must the moment he turns 6months old. Please do not get all stressed up if your 6 month old baby refuses to eat your steaming bowl of yummy porridge. Give him a break. And try again in 2 weeks’ time. If he still refuses, leave it. Just continue to nurse him and one day he’ll be ready and enthusiastic about food!

Just remember that as you intoduce solids, you must increase the amount of water/liquids you give your baby or you’ll have to deal with constipation as I did. It is really not a pleasant experience.

Happy feeding!

Dealing with Discontentment

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 1 Timothy 6:6-7

In a society where we are always encouraged to upgrade – to the latest handphone, car, house, job, educational qualifications, etc. It is hard to be content with what one has. And yet Paul teaches that godliness WITH contentment is great gain. So we should learn to be content with what we have.

But it’s hard isn’t it?

And why are we discontent? Because we are unhappy with our lot. Why are we unhappy with our lot? Because we think we deserve better. Why do we think we deserve better? Because we deserve it. Why do we think we deserve it? Because we have worked very hard. Because we are good persons.

Notice how it is always about us? Where is God in all this?

NO.WHERE.

Who cares about God? It is all about what I want and deserve. It is all about me! Not very Christ-like, am I?

So what’s the solution? As I was mulling over this for the longest time (this post was drated 6 months ago!), I think the points below are worth considering.

Focus on God

Let us put God back into the picture. Into our lives. If we would always remember to ask ourselves, “What does God say to our situation?” This question, this focus, will eliminate alot of discontentment. Sure, God wants us to have the best. But is the best a bigger house? A newer car? More shoes? Or does He want us to work on being content and developing our Christ-likeness for His glory?

Focus on what we have

We need to focus on what we already have and not on what we don’t have.

So I would love to have a bigger place or perhaps live in a condo with nice facilities. But I don’t – not at the moment at least:) However, I do have a home to call my own which is truly mine and not the bank’s! And I can make it nice and neat so that there is space to move around in the home instead of tripping over clutter. Be Pollyanna-like if you will

Do we really need it?

This is one more question to ask. Do we really need to spend $200 to upgrade to the latest handphone? Or is it just something nice to have, so that we don’t look bad when all our friends are carrying the latest gadget?

 It is all about attitude and a mind set. Let us “set (our minds) on things above, not on things on the earth.” Colossians 3:2.

And this is a reminder to me as well! :)

Raising Real Men Book Review

If you are struggling with your boys, you may wish to read Raising Real Men : Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys by Hal and Melanie Young. You can read my review of the book at my other blog, Building An Ark in Singapore.

Teaching Our Children to Read

As our 5th child is slowly but surely taking off reading independently, I thought it would be nice to share with you how I have taught the children to read.

I have always started them off by teaching them the names of the letters of the alphabet. If you follow the phonics experts, they say never to do that Instead the sounds of the alphabet should be taught first. But I only teach them the sounds the letters make after they have mastered the names. Just as I would teach them the sounds animals make. There is no confusion.

Blending is more of a challenge though. Some children catch it effortlessly but others need a lot more practice. But I don’t push it. No pressure. It is better to have a child who wants to read and is eager to pick it up than a reluctant child.

And once they get blending they are usually off and running They start reading anything and everything. Cereal boxes, newspaper headlines, shop signs, lyrics of worship songs in church, etc…

Sounds easy enough right? It usually is if you catch their teachable moments. As I have written in my post on Potty Training, some things are worth waiting for instead of pushing it through.

Our experience

By virtue of being the first born and having lots more mommy time plus an inclination and interest to learn, our first born learnt to read at 21 months with no formal curriculum.

By the time he went to pre-school (before I learnt of homeschooling) he was reading independently. Our second born was reading simple words when she entered the same pre-school. Again with no curriculum. Both of them seemed to be natural readers. Their school used the Zoophonics programme.

By the time it was our third child’s turn to learn to read, we had pulled the children out of school and were on our homeschool adventure. This time round, I thought I should have a formal curriculum. So I did my research and settled upon using Christ Centered Curriculum (CCC). I used it exclusively for both our third and fourth child.

It is, however, a very intensive programme and I found that I could not keep up with it. I ended up using mostly the flashcards and phonics charts only. But I made sure we went through the drills daily. Once they mastered the sounds and could blend, I stopped the programme. We went straight to simple readers. And that was it

With our 5th child, I went through the drills with her as well when she was 3. Once she was quite familiar with them, I introduced Explode the Code books (available locally from The Home Library) to her and she loves it. In just 4 months, she could blend! And now she is the one sitting next to me at the breakfast table reading off newspaper headlines

I had also purchased Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons but it just didn’t work for me. I didn’t even try it on the kids. I just found all the instructions very confusing. I much prefer the straightforward methods of ETC and CCC.

Teaching our children to read has been one major highlight in our homeschool adventure. It is extremely gratifying to be the one seeing the light go on in their heads as they figure out that they can read. A whole new world is opened up for them and I get to be part of that experience. How cool is that?

Once they can read, they use BOB books and the Oxford Reading Tree readers to practice and then slowly progress to more difficult books. We were blessed with these books and have found them very suitable for our emerging readers. Just watch out for toddlers who keep wanting to colour the black and white BOB books!

One last note : As they learn to read, it is equally important for them to comprehend what they are reading. Otherwise, it is a meangingless exercise.

Potty Training

This question has come up again and again in conversations with new moms so I guess it is time to share how we do it in our home.

Please note : this is how we do it. I am not saying it is THE correct or best way but merely the way it has worked best for us.

A little background. I read my books, did my research and decided that we should potty train our oldest at 18mths. He was a very bright child, able to comprehend instructions and converse with us clearly. It was a big mistake. Yes, he understood what he had to do but he wasn’t matured enough to interrupt his play to relieve himself. It took almost a year of wiping and cleaning before he was accident free. And this was when I had a baby to handle as well. It was not a pleasant experience at all.

Then came nighttime training. He told me he didn’t want to wear diapers to bed! I was not excited. In fact, I was horrified. I told him, “No, no. You have to put on your diapers!”  But he was insistent. He said he would wake me up if he needed to relieve himself. I still wasn’t enthusiastic about the whole thing at all. I was imagining myself stripping off urine soaked bedsheets 2 to 3 times a night. Yucks! But to my utter surprise he had all of 2 accidents in the 1st week of going diaperless. And then we’re home free. Wow! What a difference from his daytime potty training.

And so I learnt – never rush potty training unless you have the time and energy to keep cleaning up after them.

So this is what I’ve done after that fiasco. Just for the record, I have trained 2 boys and 3 girls.

First, I wait. Sure you can toilet train a 18mth old or even a newborn and many have done so. You can read more about it if you google elimination communication. But it doesn’t sit well with me – watching the baby all the time for her signals. Maybe if I had started when I had 1 child I would feel differently. But I much preferred to wait until the child is at least 2.5 if not 3 years old. The actual age depends on the maturity of the child.

Next, introduce them to the concept of peeing and pooping You see, when they wear diapers they were trained to ignore their peeing sensations. So now you have to re-introduce them to it. How? Eg. whenyou are showering them and they accidentally pee, tell them, “oh! that’s your pee pee” (or whatever you want to call it ) and tell them that they need to pee in the toilet and not on the floor.

Then hype up potty training as the thing all big children do. Meanwhile, buy lots (and I mean lots!) of briefs/panties. And stand by lots of cloths for wiping up. Do note that some boys dislike the airiness of loose briefs after the snugness of diapers so you” ll have to make sure his briefs are fitting.

Then start.

Mentally, psyche yourself up to the fact that there will be lots of accidents in the 1st 3 days, if not 7. If done correctly, the child would get it by the 3rd day. I’ve had one trained by the 1st day!

Here is also where I will back off and not persist if the child is not getting it or showing that she is not interested. If the child is ignoring the signs her body is telling her, I stop. I’ll wait a while more before re-starting. But I’ll tell the child (hence the need to wait till the child is older and understands) why she can’t progress to wearing panties. And somehow they like to not wear diapers after experiencing the “freedom” of going diaperless.

Some couldn’t be bothered. But others have insisted that they really want to wear their panties and then voila! they were able to go accident free the next few days! For those who were unmotivated, I just leave it and return to it in a month’s time or so. Usually the 2nd round is easier. The kid knows what’s expected and is ready to be trained.

Nighttime training

Again, I wait. Some of our kids have been amazing in that the moment they were trained in the day, they were also trained in the night. It just connected for them. But there some who needed more incentives. Again, their motivation is to get rid of their diapers. Perhaps they really dislike wearing wet soggy diapers? I had to use a chart for one of them. I told her that she could get out of diapers if she could be dry 7 days in a row. And it was with much glee that she presented me with a dry diaper every morning so that we could mark a cross on her chart.

Some just sleep through the whole night and only wake up to pee in the morning. Some have had to wake up and pee in the middle of the night. Since we live in an HDB estate, there is never total darkness and so we’ve not had a need to leave any nightlights on for them to find their way to the toilet. There is an occasional miss by the boys – not because there isn’t any night light but because they are so groggy that they don’t aim!

We’ve also had a few accidents due to sleep walking. They walk to where they think the toilet is and peed. Really unpleasant but I guess part and parcel of parenting.

Some Other FAQs

• How do I decide when to start?

As I’d mentioned, I usually wait till they are 2.5 years old or older. You can check out BabyCenter’s potty training readiness signs here. I will also look for a time convenient to me (no newborn babies, not going for a vacation, not the Christmas/Chinese New Year period). Then I would just start. And pray! Don’t underestimate the power of prayer even in such trivial issue such as potty training.

• Do you use rewards?

No. So far, we’ve not had to. We just do lots of praising and clapping of hands. It doesn’t hurt that the older siblings are happy for them to. And of course when daddy is home, I would proudly announce, infront of the child, his achievement to daddy.

• What about pull ups?

I personally feel that pull ups work exactly like diapers. In other words, the kid feels that he has on a diaper and would not bother to tell me when he has peed in it. So it backfires on the effort to train him. I only use pull ups out of convenience for toddlers when we’re out  and not for a child in potty training.

• What about passing motion?

It helps if your child goes at regular times. Ours unfortunately do not So it is rather stressful when I start the potty training process. Lots of yucky messes! Worse when there’s a crawling baby in the house!

The thing is they would tell us after the deed is done not before. So again, lots of reminders that they need to tell us before. And standby dettol for major sterilising after the deed is done!

• Do I use a potty?

Yes, I did but only in the beginning. I bought the most basic one – no bells & whistles:) But now I try not to unless the kid feels really insecure sitting on the adult potty. This eliminates the need to transition them from the kiddy potty to the adult one. Also it allows them to pee in those dreaded public toilets. I also do not use a potty trainer seat. I just place them directly onto the adult potty and hold them till they are done.

• What about wiping up?

In the beginning, I’ll wipe up after them and then teach them how to do it once they are able to balancre on the potty steadily. For poop, I still wipe up after them till they turn 4 or so. I just prefer to be sure that they’re clean

• What about naps times?

I would put on diapers on them for naps, especially those who liked to take longer (by that I mean more than 1.5hr long) naps. Then if they were consistently dry, I would let them go to nap in their briefs/panties. Of course I would make them go potty before napping.

• Do I limit drinks in the evenings?

Yes I do. They drink all they want after dinner and may get just a sip of water in the interval between dinner and sleeptime. That is one reason why I do not encourage them to drink lots of milk or water once they are weaned.

• What about waterproof sheets?

Yes, obviously put a waterproof sheet over the mattress to protect it. One trick that is helpful for those middle of the night accidents - line your mattress this way : bedsheet-waterproof sheet-bedsheet. This way, when an accident happens, all you have to do is strip the bedsheet and waterproof sheet off and you already have a clean bedsheet in place.

If you are concerned that another accident may occur after that, then line your mattress this way : waterproof sheet-bedsheet-waterproof sheet-bedsheet. And during this time, limit the number of items on the bed. Perhaps only one stuffed toy instead of five.

• What about going out?

This one is really tricky. But in that one week that you are potty training the child, you would have known how long he can wait before he really needs to go. It would be good to remind him that he should not wait till the last minute to tell you he needs to go. Again – that’s why I wait till they are 2.5yrs old or older.

Obviously we make the child pee before we leave the house. We may or may not make him pee again upon reaching our destination and meanwhile keep a lookout for toilets. And definitely make him pee before you leave.

• What about using public toilets?

I think for boys, this is generally a non-issue. But for girls, it is a very daunting thing to have to bring our daughters to pee in public toilets I carry a de-sanitiser in my bag for the really gross toilets. Otherwise, I would just use a normal wipe to wipe the toilet seat and carry them to sit on it and tell them not to touch anything. Then of course make them wash their hands with soap after that.

And that is how I have done it with 5 out of our 7 children. #6 is due to be trained soon – shudder! Because, no matter how many times I have done this, I still dread it and wish I could pay someone to do this for me I hope some of these tips will help you as you potty train your child/ren.